“She is married to Michael, one of his best friends,” Beth protested.
“You did also share information about the school when even Evan had not divulged that in all their years of friendship.”
Beth gritted her teeth. Althea echoed Robert’s exact thoughts. Godsakes, she’d had permission.
“Also, what if Robert inserted himself into your quest to place a charity school graduate? Say he’d met her twice and then assumed he could do a better job of it, against your wishes.”
She seriously hated it when her cousin was right, and it happened far too often for her tastes.
“The question is, what do you want?” Althea asked.
“I want…him to see life the way I do.”
“Why?” Althea raised her brows expectantly.
“Because…” Ready to spout her parents’ philosophy, Beth shook her head. At the core of it all, she simply wanted to be wanted.
The taller woman reached for her hand. “Because you can be sure you’re accepted then.”
“Yes.” She nodded and looked down at their joined hands. “And loved.”
“Ah. Let us flip this situation, cuz.” Althea borrowed her affectionate nickname to show her love. “What are you doing to adapt to his preferences, to show your love?”
“I snuck around in coarse wool, for godsakes. I have remained faithful, even when he was away, without him asking.”
“Faithfulness is a baseline, my dear.” Shaking her head with a rueful grin, Althea squeezed Beth’s hand. “What about positive gestures of caring, rather than abstinence from negative actions?”
Beth’s lips pressed in annoyance before she answered. “I’ve helped him grow his business and supported him in that. I’ve even found a potential blacksmith for him. Althea, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I have bent over backwards to please him and to not draw attention to myself or to us, to no avail. He said he doesn’t trust me. Until he changes his mind, there is nothing more I can—” She caught Althea’s glance and corrected herself. “—am willing to do.”
Changing the subject, she told Althea about the letter from Helen Montague and her thoughts on the artist for the catalogue. “What do I do now?”
“Before you do anything, consider your reaction if Evan did not choose any of the nursing candidates you arranged for him to interview.”
“I would have tried to understand why and endeavored to find a better fit.”
“You would have respected his decision?” Althea prodded.
“Yes, of course.” Beth’s answer was immediate.
“Be sure you’re willing to do that for Robert. I think you have two choices. I can understand if you want nothing to do with him, after he’s stepped back from your personal relationship. On the other hand, connecting people is your passion. So if you direct him to the people you think are right to help him but he declines their participation, be prepared to step back as you would for any other person you helped.”
He is not simply another person I am helping find a connection for. I want his approval. I want his respect and admiration.
Always before, she’d shaken off rejection as the person being another judgmental aristo. She’d buried her hurt and disappointment at not being chosen and moved on to the next conquest. This time, however, hope continued to bombard her heart, hurling it against her ribs in a tantrum of wishes. This time, ’twasn’t disappointment she’d end up with, but heartache.
Chapter Twenty
Beth was not surprised to receive another invitation to a demi-monde party. It was the off-Season, and the weather was less predictable, keeping many aristocrats at their county seat from Michaelmas through Christmas. Those who remained in London liked totake advantage of the absence of Society rules and play dress-up. And possibly dress-down, depending on the exact nature of the fête.
She’d convinced Althea to attend, despite the risk of Robert being there. She hoped the gathering would spark her interest in a new bedmate. All the better if he was there to witness it. She still had not decided what to do about the artist and was dying of curiosity about his search for a blacksmith, but there had been no communication between them.
As the day of the party approached, she rethought her decision. Still upset by Robert’s reaction, she was in turn furious at herself for pining for a man who did not share her beliefs. On top of that, she had belatedly realized she might see Robert’s creations, and possibly even some of hers, on another woman if there were models for the demonstration.
Althea’s comments had not been helpful. “You’re jealous. Of some stranger having sex with another stranger. Why did you design these pieces if not for people to enjoy them?” And “Can you imagine if I was upset every time I thought of someone washing their hair with my shampoo?”
For that one, Beth gave her a withering look. “You know ’tis not the same, especially now you’ve been with Evan.”
Althea smiled. “Ah, I am glad to see Robert has changed your mind. I swear you treated sex like washing your hair until now.” She ducked when Beth threw a slipper at her.
