“I do not critique men's or women’s choices, no matter what they are. In turn, I should be allowed to make my own choices without censure.”
“I did not mean disapproval, Robert.” Still surprised at his reaction, his leap to assuming her comment was disparaging made her lower lip quiver.
“I am sorry, Peaches.” His shoulders dropped. “At some point, I will share more of my past with you. However, it might ruin the mood so I’d prefer to do that another night if ’tis all right with you?” He stepped in to hug her. “Suffice it to say, I might have a teeny tiny issue giving up control.”
“Fair enough.” She nodded and let the subject and the cuffs drop to return his hug. “Happily, I do not have that concern. Feel free to take control.”
****
As usual, Beth leaped out of bed the next morning. As she helped Althea tally what samples she wanted to send to Bath with the note that confirmed the funding of the expansion, her mind drifted to Robert’s comment about his past.
His unique designs had centered many of their conversations on his work. He’d also made it clear privacy was important to him. But why? And what of his family? His vague reference to his history had sparked her interest. She knew from her sources that he was the second son of an earl. If his trade was his sole source of income, her help might be more important than she’d realized. The idea of the catalogue improving his day-to-day comfort delighted her.
She lost count of the scented soaps she was gathering. Swearing under her breath, she started over.
Her lack of knowledge about his youth was one thing. His ignorance of hers was quite another. She’d mentioned her reputation in passing but had not explained the reasons for it further. As much as she wished to continue seeing him, even if only in the dark of night, he deserved to know more about her.
Her childhood had been so outside the norm and colored her view of the world, it affected others in her life, as Althea had learned. So she preferred to be fair to someone she cared for. She also would rather he left sooner if he was going to leave her for that reason before she fell any further in love with him.
She gasped, clutching a random bar of prettily wrapped soap so hard she smelled lavender.
I am in love with him. Drat.
For a time, she’d been able to pretend it was simple lust, respect for the unparalleled ecstasy he provided. But his work ethic, his artistry, and his unique admiration of her had forced her to admit her feelings were stronger.
When she found herself picking at her supper, she decided enough was enough. The uncertainty was worse than knowing his reaction. And nothing and no one stood between her and her enjoyment of a meal, darn it.
As she changed into the plain dress, she played with different approaches. What would make her past more palatable? A wave of anger rolled over her. Why did it have to be smoothed over? Hadn’t Cheltie been intimate with far more people than she had? And he remained Robert’s closest friend.
Her fists clenched, and her heart panged at the thought of losing Robert as she walked the dark streets to his townhouse. She burst into his workshop, formerly known as a sitting room.
He looked up at the force of her entrance. “Hullo. Happy to see me, are you?”
She smiled, bending to kiss his cheek. “Yes. But more than that. I need to speak with you.”
“And so you are.” He smirked.
He has been spending too much time with Cheltie. She rolled her eyes. Gesturing to the piece he was working on in his lap, she said, “I should like your undivided attention for this, please.”
His eyes widened, but he said nothing as he put the pile of partially cut leather aside, along with his shears.
Crossing one ankle over the other knee, he folded his hands, the epitome of patience.
Beth sat across from him and took a deep breath. “I’ve told you a little about how I came to live with Althea. I—” Her throat closed with emotion, and she swallowed before trying again. “It is in both our best interests that I share a few more details.”
He nodded. “Right, then. I am listening.”
“My parents thought a lady should be able to do whatever a man could and raised me to believe that. Unfortunately, society does not hold the same view.”
“Society be damned. I agree with your parents.”
She gave him a steady stare. “I believe you think you do.” When he frowned, she hastened to add, “Please, hear me out.”
Show time. They could debate all sorts of freedoms that men had but women did not. However, the one at the core of society’s issue with her was one particular freedom. It was also likely what would cause him to walk away. She sucked in another deep breath then sighed it out and gave in to the inevitable. “As you know, I enjoy physical intimacy. Sexual play can be fun and lighthearted, just as it can be passionate and intense. And-I’ve-done-it-all-many-times-with-many people.”
He blinked, as if assimilating her words that had gusted out in one string. Finally, he nodded. “I had some understanding of that from you and Bags.”
She gaped at him. That was the extent of his reaction? She tested it further. “I’ve been with men and women.”
