Her face lights up."I'd love that."
And for the first time in a long time, I walk out of that house feeling like maybe we can start over.All of us.
Chapter 31
Gage
Whatafuckingday.
The door clicks shut behind me, and the silence that fills my house is almost deafening.I toe off my shoes, drop my keys in the bowl by the door, and head straight to the liquor cabinet.No hesitation, no thought.Just the need to dull the constant throb behind my eyes.
I pour two fingers of whiskey, and then say screw it, making it four.The first swallow burns all the way down, and I welcome the sting.At least it reminds me I can still feel something.
Even though I can feel it buzzing in my pocket, I don't check my phone.They’ve been coming one after another, a relentless swarm of people trying to get answers or apologies or reactions.I don't want to give them any of that.Not tonight.
It can all wait until tomorrow.
I carry the glass to my office and flick on the light.The room feels colder than usual, maybe because I know what I'm about to do.Maybe because part of me still can't believe it's come to this.
But I start anyway.
Book by book.Frame by frame.Folder by folder.I pack it all away.My syllabi, my lecture notes, the stupid mug one of my students gave me that says, "I Have All the Class."All of it goes into boxes.Everything that made this office a part of me.The life I built over the years reduced to cardboard and dust.
I'm not stupid.I knew there were risks.The moment I chose Skye, I knew there was a chance this would catch up to us.But I just didn't think it would be this fast, this harsh, or this final.
I don't even know if they're going to fire me yet.The Board meeting ended with a lot of closed doors and unreadable faces.But I saw enough to know it won't go well.Not with that photo.Not with the timing of another scandal at a high school where a teacher forced himself on a minor student.They want to make an example of me and avoid bad press.I could see it all over their faces.
The Board meeting earlier today plays through my mind like a bad dream.The Dean never looked me in the eye.Not once.And when the Chair of the Board used the word "inappropriate," it felt like a noose tightening.I sat there, hands folded, trying to maintain composure while they picked apart every detail of my professional record.One member asked if I understood the severity of my actions.Another hinted at predatory behavior, despite knowing nothing about the relationship or Skye.There was no mention of how careful we were.How we tried to do the right thing.No nuance.Just judgment.
Only one faculty member spoke up for me.Professor Ellison, who said I had always shown integrity and restraint.She asked them to consider context, to look at timing and intent.But her words were drowned out by the rest of them.I left that meeting knowing I was a liability.An inconvenience to be removed.
I rub a hand over my face, the burn of the whiskey now settling low in my gut.Two glasses in, and I'm not even buzzed.Just hollow.
I keep telling myself I made the right choice, that Skye was worth it, that she still is.But tonight, that conviction feels frayed at the edges.
Loving Skye was never safe.It was never meant to be.It broke every rule I'd ever lived by.I fought it, ignored it, tried to drown it in logic and distance.But she kept showing up.In my class, in my thoughts, with every fucking breath I took.And when she looked at me like I was something good, something worthy, that's when I knew.There was no going back.
She wrecked the neat little world I'd built.Tore through the lines I'd drawn to protect myself.But in the ruins, I found something real.Something better.
Every second I've spent with her has been the most alive I've ever felt.More than any publication, any lecture, any acclaim.She sees me in ways no one else ever has.And maybe that's what scares me the most.Because now I don't know who I am without her.
I move to the bookshelf and pause, my hand hovering over a framed photo.It's of my department, taken last fall.Everyone's smiling.I was smiling.Back then, I still thought I could have it all: career, stability, the girl.But that was before.
Before her.
Before I knew what it would feel like to really fall.
By the time I finish boxing up the last of my books, I realize I haven't eaten anything since lunch.Hell, maybe breakfast.I glance at the clock.Nearly ten.No wonder my head feels like it's full of broken glass.
I should eat something.Try to sober up before I start sounding like my old man on a bad night.The thought twists something sharp in my chest.
Then there's a pounding on my door.
Loud and insistent.
For a second, I think maybe I imagined it.But then it comes again.Harder and faster.
I cross the house and open the door, the latch sticking for a second before it swings open.
