“No.”
“Yes, Aro’el. Because of me and my pride, I was forced to watch while they cut her down.” His words rushed out, unstoppable now. “It took fifty mages to hold me back, and even still I almost defeated them. They beat me to the edge of life. Beat me until I could not even crawl.”
A wail rose up in the creak of timber, the furious slapping of sheets overhead—and then nothing. TheTouchstonewas gone like the suns at night. The cabin was empty without her voice, but I knew with a pain this deep, the only way to protect yourself was to withdraw into your shell.
“When I woke next, they had cut her down to a stump,”he growled bitterly, his voice breaking, “and turned her into timbers, staves, and planks for their ships. They were able to sail before I could fly again. There was only one ship left broken on the shore.”
He looked away, his jaw working to keep the steel, but I didn’t try to hide the tears sliding down my cheeks. The silence that followed was unbearable, as heavy as a grave. He clenched his fists until the knuckles blanched, as though he could still feel her sap running warm beneath his palms.
“For most of my life, she was my mother,” he whispered at last, the words shattering him. “And I cannot rest until I take her home.”
His shoulders curled inward, no armor left to keep the grief from spilling out. The air thickened with the ghost of her, the sweet, resinous scent of her bark, the vast, sheltering hush of her branches. His muscles trembled like a child lost in the dark.
I laid my forehead on his arm, my chest aching as though her roots had been torn from me, too. The world suddenly felt emptier, smaller, a hollow place where something sacred had once stood.
And so we breathed and breathed some more, drowning in sorrows, lost in our grief.
Finally, he raised his head, and I could feel the steel slide back into place.
“I took that ship and filled her with RuneTree wood. It was remarkable how it formed itself to her hull, her decks, her railing. Moons, she even made her own figurehead.”
He almost smiled at that.
“She was still so strong, so filled with chimeric. She could do anything, and I vowed to never leave her decks.” He released another long breath. “We sailed to High Temple, and I made a pact with the king. I believe you know the rest.”
“You were so young,” I said.
He nodded.
“Eighteen suns,” he said. “And alreadyold.”
Forge,tooyoung to carry such a weight. I understood him full well.
He finally met my gaze, tears and fury both brimming behind his dark lashes. Sadness, pain, loss, rage. Oh, how I wished I could soothe that all away.
“She has forgotten much of her past life, which is a blessing. But she has kept her character, her integrity, and her fierce spirit. And I must honor that above all else. It is my first duty.”
“And her love for you,” I said. “Don’t forget she’s kept that, too.”
Another deep breath, and another, and I watched him begin to lock himself down, hide things away under rocks and steel and rune. I knew how it was done. I did it myself.
He nodded swiftly and dropped his head again, elbows on his knees, hands still clasped between them. But I could see them twist together, rune crackling along his fingers as they tightened into fists.
“She has,” he said.
I ran my hands across his weary shoulders, made circles across his back. I remember Fahr had rubbed mine when I was heaving up all over the pup, months ago. A lifetime. I’d never done it for anyone, but somehow, it just seemed right.
“So, you’ve been collecting the pieces of the other ships to keep her alive.”
He nodded.
“Collecting the chimeric to keep her alive as well.”
He nodded.
“Collected me to keep her alive.”
His gaze met mine. “Forgive me for that.”
