I looked up at him. Suns, I respected that man.
Next time, he said.
Next time, and I fought the stinging of my eyes anew.
Fahr had left the table to stand by the captain, and I ached to think of what this bargain had cost.
“What’s in the trunks?” I whispered to Echo.
“Magik, robes, supplies, books,” he said.
“Why?”
“I believe they’re coming with us.”
“The Court of Sand is coming with us?”
“Three of them, yes. That is my understanding.”
I left his side, stumbled toward the captain and the first mate and my mother.
“Sir,” I said. “I told you I could bargain.”
He stared down at me, aloof and unreadable once again.
“I have no need of your bargains, Aro’el.”
“You can’t give them theTouchstone!”
“I am not giving them theTouchstone.”
“Are you giving them you?”
“No, Ensign,” he sighed.
I swallowed the lump that had leaped from my chest.
“Me?”
“While it seems the kings of both helms want a chimeric chaser, the Court of Sand does not. I am giving them the Cloudgate.”
The Cloudgate.
He was giving them the Cloudgate.
The goal, the solution, the destination, the prize. The source of the chimeric, the door between helms. And maybe the only way to save me. He was giving it all up, and it was like a boot to the gut.
He cocked his head.
“What? No wit? No retort? No response from an insolent Blue? Excellent. I’m validated.”
He was sad, so he lashed out. I knew the pattern, for I lived it myself. But in truth, he was right. I had nothing. No words, no rebuke, no rebuff. And in his defense, I had no alternative. There was no good bargain to be had with the Court of Sand, no way a deal could satisfy all parties, especially if my mother was one of them now. That was how I was raised and likely why I was never satisfied. I always wanted more, just like her.
“I hate this,” I grumbled under my breath.
“Good,” he said, and I looked up at him.
We both felt it. We’d defeated death but had lost to our dread bargains. The Court of Sand was a nest of vipers, and we had just invited them onto our decks. I wasn’t sure anything would ever be the same again.
