She pushed herself up on her elbows and stared out at him. He looked adrift. Lost at sea. He was used to navigating life alone, to losing all his people, and she hated that for him.
He shouldn’t have to be alone anymore.
But was she the person he should be with?
Chapter 29
Asherfinishedhisshower,got dressed, and stepped into the hallway to find Eliana there with her arms folded.
“Hey.” He tried to skirt past her, but she wasn’t having it. She stepped in front of him to block his path again.
He let out a long, weary sigh. It had been quite a day, and he was ready to heat up some leftovers for dinner and crash on the couch.
“How did it go?” Eliana asked.
“Let me get some food, and I’ll tell you about it.” His stomach had been churning too much after meeting with Mike to eat anything, but he’d worked up an appetite after swimming around.
She followed him into the kitchen, watching as he heated up last night’s leftover enchiladas. He’d slid an extra enchilada onto his plate and grabbed two forks as he made his way over to the couch for what had become their nightly ritual of eating dinner together, going through several boxes each, and watching something on television. It reminded him so much of his grandparents that the thought of it made him ache. Especially tonight.
They’d gone through at least three-quarters of the boxes, and his grandpa’s bungalow looked empty in a way that was reflected in his chest.
They ate in silence, not turning on the television tonight, and he appreciated Eliana giving him some space to gather his thoughts. What could he even say about everything he’d learned? He finished his dinner and drank the rest of his water before he began.
“There were a lot of things about my grandpa I didn’t know.” He attempted to swallow down the emotion choking the back of his throat.
It must have still shown, because she scooted close and took his hand. He stared at their interlocked fingers, at her delicate pink-painted fingernails and lightly freckled skin, as he told her what Mike had revealed about his grandpa’s past. It was hard to say the words, to tell her about the abuse, but at the same time, it felt right to say it out loud, like he was shedding light on something hidden in darkness for too long.
He swiped at the tears pricking his eyes. “I just wish he would have told me, but I also get why he didn’t. It had to have been painful to even think about, much less talk about. He was so good to me, especially after my parents died. Even with all his family trauma, he found a way to love.” He’d taken Asher in. Never made him feel like a burden. Always had encouragement when he called. Praised his successes and gently corrected his mistakes. When Asher looked at his grandpa’s actions, he could see his love as clearly as the sun rising steadily over the ocean each morning.
“It makes sense why he’d want to know everyone’s secrets.” Eliana absently stroked her thumb over the back of his hand. “His motivation wasn’t to expose his friends. It was to help people who were being hurt.”
“But he’s given fuel to someone who isn’t trying to help andwantseveryone to hurt.”
Eliana rested her head against his arm, and he breathed in the fresh, citrusy scent of her. “When I was going through my divorce with Corbin, things got pretty ugly between us. Corbin didn’t like that I was setting boundaries and he said some hurtful things—and since he knew me so well, he knew right where to strike to make the deepest cut.”
His jaw clenched at the thought of how Eliana had been mistreated by someone she’d once trusted. Anyone who could be hurtful on purpose was someone he could never understand, but to hurt Eliana? To think someone tried to make her feel small and unworthy and less-than? It was enough to make him feel torn between tackling his most complicated, intricate recipe and painting over every ugly word Eliana been told by listing the amazing things about her. They’d be there a long time, if he chose that option. Forever.
She pulled back to look at him, her gaze softening as she took in his anger on her behalf. She ran a light finger over his jaw, and it loosened under her touch. “My grandma said something to me that helped me understand him a little more. She said, ‘Hurt people hurt people.’”
Asher let those words sit in his mind. Because of their own hurt they lashed out and hurt someone else. And maybe that’s what the person revealing the secrets was doing … trying to release their own hurt by hurting others. “That doesn’t make it right.”
“No, it doesn’t,” she agreed.
He slid his hand behind her head, threading his fingers into the back of her loose, silky hair. She caught her breath as she stared at him, but she didn’t pull away. “You’re pretty smart,” he said.
“Asher …” she whispered.
He waited. He didn’t want to push her into something she didn’t want or wasn’t ready for, though every part of him ached to be closer to her. But when her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned into him, he met her halfway, pressing his lips to hers in a kiss so emotional, so comforting, it almost brought him to tears again.
The pressure against their lips was gentle and soft, but his heart raced as if he were swimming against the tide with all of his energy. Her hand rested against his chest and had to feel how hard it pounded.
She pulled back just a breath, and her eyes studied his, confusion swirling in them. “What are we doing?” she breathed.
He gathered her close to him in a hug, relieved when her arms circled his waist tightly, and she pressed her head to his chest.
They remained like that long enough for Eliana’s breathing to even out. Her question sat between them long after she’d fallen asleep cuddled into him on the couch.
What were they doing?
