I snatched the garment and bolted for the door; Eleanor hot on my heels. A breeze hit my face as we rushed to her car, the sunrays casting long shadows across the driveway. My heart pounded in my chest, a frantic rhythm matching my racing thoughts.
“Where do you want to go, Katie?” Eleanor asked as she started the engine.
I wracked my brain, then finally settled with, “The park. The one near my apartment. She loves the swings. Maybe...” My voice trailed off.
Eleanor didn’t hesitate; pulling out of the driveway and heading toward the city. Silence stretched between us, the only sounds the hum of the car’s engine and my ragged breathing.
“We'll find her,” Eleanor said softly.
I didn’t answer her, choosing instead to let the silence stretch.
“Why are you doing this?” I finally asked a long while later. “Thought you hated me.”
Eleanor’s hands tightened around the wheel. Keeping her gaze glued to the road, she worked down a swallow then another and another. She didn’t say a word. Not a single freaking word.
If it were any other time, I’d probably care that she was ignoring me. Or maybe I wouldn’t. I didn’t know. Didn’t have the space to care. Not while Millie was still out there with heaven only knew who. Pain sliced through my chest, fast and fierce. Thick, hot tears spilled over my lids and rolled down my cheeks.
Where the hell is she?
“I don’t hate you, Katie.” Eleanor’s voice broke through my scrambled thoughts.
Snapping my gaze away from the passing scenery, I shot my sister an incredulous look. “Really? So you making fun of me and sleeping with my boyfriend is you not hating me? Gosh.” I shook my head. “I feel sorry for the people you actually hate then.”
With a quick jerk of her head, she swerved off the road into a nearby parking area. After shoving the car in park, she twisted in her seat to face me. Thick, black mascara tracks stained her wet cheeks.
“I don’t hate you,” she repeated. “I…I’m jealous of you.”
My eyes bugged out of my skull. I opened my mouth but was too stunned to say anything, so I snapped it shut.
“Everything is always so effortless with you,” my sister went on. “You’re beautiful without trying. You’re smart without breaking a sweat. Even Bryce was enamored with you from the moment he saw you.”
More tears fell, and she quickly swiped them away. “I knew him first, did you know that? He was in my economics class and wanted to have lunch. I told him I couldn’t because I’d already made plans with my sister. That’s when I pointed you out. The very next day, you told me about this guy you met the previous night.”
He’d shown up at the coffee shop where I’d worked on my paper and had asked to join me. We’d talked for hours.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shrugged. “You were so excited; I didn’t want to spoil that.”
“But it was better to crawl into his bed after I’d fallen for him?” I held up my hand. “You know what, I don’t care. I don’t want to talk about the past, about Bryce, about any of it. I just want to find Millie.”
Eleanor nodded. “My timing is shit, and what I did was so unforgivable, but”—she reached across the console to grab my hand—“I’m sorry, Katie. I’m so, so sorry. I’ve wanted to apologize a million times before but then I’d hear Bryce whisper your name or see the way he looked at you, and the damn jealousy would take over.”
Dropping my gaze to her hand wrapped around mine, my thoughts drifted to the past and how different everything would’ve been if it hadn’t happened the way it had.
“You hurt me, Eleanor.” I found her stare and held it. “What you and Bryce did not only broke my heart, it shattered me to pieces.”
Her shoulders shook with the force of the sobs leaving her body. If I weren’t so numb, I probably would’ve felt bad.
“You can’t break something and expect it to work the same after the pieces have been glued back together. There will always be cracks, insecurities, vulnerabilities…fears.”
More tears fell down her face as she lifted her hand off mine. I grabbed it before she could pull away completely.
“I’m not mad,” I told her honestly. “I found someone, no, not just one, two someones whose love reached between the cracks and imperfections to complete me. If you never betrayed me, if Bryce never cheated, if I stayed when he begged me to…” I shook my head. “So many ifs and none of them would have led me to where I was supposed to be. To Millie. To Tristan.”
My sister’s brows drew together, and her mouth parted to speak. I wasn’t done yet.
“I accept your apology. Admitting how you felt couldn’t have been easy.” Holding her gaze, I allowed the rest of my words to flow from my tongue. “I wish it could erase the years of hurt we’ve both suffered, but that’s not how life works. The best I can do right now is to promise to try.”
