We rideon in silence for a while before questions start to plague my mind again.
“Let me down Durga, I want to walk,” I say, giving her mane a gentle stroke as she stops and kneels down so I can slide off her large back. As she stands I look her in the eye.
“Why can you not return to the fae realm? Will I be able to return to the human realm?” I ask, my unanswered question weighing heavy on my mind. We keep our eyes locked as we keep walking through the forest.
It is a very old curse that we no longer know the details of. We, the fae, are taught as children that if we cross over we will be stuck forever. We were told The Divine Mother Earth herself placed the curse upon us as punishment for our greed. I had always believed it to be a tale told to keep children close but I have tried to return many times without success.Durga explains, her voice sounding heavy and resigned in my head.You were born in the human realm so can return to the fae realm but I am unsure whether you can cross back. I have never known a fae to be born on this side.Durga admits.
Dread washes over me. I know I must search for Marissa but accepting that I may never return shatters a little piece of me. Is my home a place I am willing to leave forever? Why would Durga leave her home so willingly?
“Who were you to my mother Durga? Why did you sacrifice yourself for her?” I ask, trying to keep the pity off of my face.
I was her lady-in-waiting. She rescued me from a violent master that I had been traded to when I was a young foal. He had a charm that kept me trapped in my morphed form and would use me as a workhorse on his lands. I thought that was to be my horrible lot in life, until she freed me. She took me to her home to live freely. I owed her my life. When she first fell pregnant, her husband–your father, would not let her leave the house and I was cast out by the servants. I was never evenpermitted to meet her husband. He kept her locked in there and would not allow any visitors. There was unrest amongst the court, fae were going missing and there was word of a rebellion against The King. Perhaps he was shielding her from whatever danger there may have been but why he would not permit me to be with her, I do not know. The next time I saw her, she was large with you in her belly and running from that same house, in fear.Durga says, her strong voice cracking slightly at the memories.
I have so many questions but as I am about to ask more, we step into a sweeping meadow with wildflowers dancing in the breeze and tall green grasses that sing with the passing wind. At the far side of the clearing there is a big hill that has a small cave at the base. The mouth of the cave is so dark it seems to swallow all the light. A twinge of fear skitters up my spine.
“Is that The Gate?” I ask, swallowing down the lump that has formed in my throat. Durga nods her head, snorting a huff of air through her nostrils. We walk on through the meadow but when we are halfway across, Durga stops suddenly. I look into her eyes and can hear her say,this is as far as I can go.I nod and look forward, clasping onto my sword, feigning bravery.Am I ready for this?
I take a deep breath, “thank you for all you have done Durga, I hope to see you again. I have so much I want to ask you but I fear I've already spent too much time here. I have to find her…” I say, turning back to face her and giving her soft cheek a stroke.
Wait, one last piece of advice; beware of the Mists when you first enter into the realm. They will worm into your thoughts and memories. Just keep walking, whatever you do, do not stop.
I nod, taking on her advice but not entirely understanding what to expect.
I’m ready. I’m coming for you Marissa!
I take a deep breath to centre myself, then walk on. I start to run, hoping that the speed will help keep my nerves steady, but as I near the mouth of the cave I can feel my sword hand start to shake. I close my eyes and shield my face with my arms as I blindly sprint into the darkness.
Chapter Six
Rather than the rocky ground that I would expect to be inside a cave, I am met with the soft sponge of moss and open my eyes to see I am facing another meadow, except this one is dark and full of a thick, tangible mist. I look behind me to see a cave at my back and realize I am on the other side,thefae realm.
Something ancient that was slumbering deep in my bones cracks open and my mother’s necklace hums faintly. I feel all my senses perk up at the crackle of energy that runs through the air, I inhale deeply. Immediately the Mist shoves its way up my nose, making my eyes tear.
I remember Durga’s warning so I start sprinting forward. The ground starts to incline as I run up a hill much like the one the cave was hidden in and then tumble back down the other side into a valley. I feel as though I am wading through water, but I keep running. If I stop, something terrible is bound to happen. My head starts to throb as the Mist tangles into my memories and pieces of my past start to flash before my eyes.
Marissa whispers to her friends at my old high school, pretending to not know me as we pass in the halls – judgemental giggles pierce my ears as if they are right behind me.
A young boy is clasping his ears, yelling at me to get out of his head in the middle of a birthday party – Delia is crouching down and telling me to stop – horror is on all the surrounding faces.
The Mist is working its way to my earliest memories. I swipe away the tears that are pooling on my eyelids and keep running.
Delia and Hunt are having a heated argument over whether or not to adopt me . Both of their heads snap to where I am eavesdropping at the top of the staircase – my finger nails leave indents in the wood of the railing from my white knuckled grasp – Delia fervently advocates for me to stay while she rocks baby Marissa in her arms – Hunt crosses his arms, looking sceptical.
The pain of rejection stings freshly.Did he ever want me?The Mist seems to relish my despair and pushes even further into my past.
I am on the back of a big, white horse and my tiny hands clasp the horse’s mane as we tumble through the forest. My own shrill scream rings in my ears.
A cold, dark feeling as my mother slips away from me…
I crest the top of a hill and stumble into a deep, dark forest. The Mist immediately clears, shying away from the oppressive presence that lurks here. I lean over with my hands on my knees to take a few deep breaths, shaking off the memories that usually only resurface during fitful nights. The faces of all those that have judged or feared me continue to flash behind my eyes, although less vividly as the seconds tick by. The dark void in my chest that felt as if it was healing over when I put on my mother’s necklace has been ripped open anew.Come on Nuria, get it together…
I take a moment, letting the ache in my chest ease before I scan my surroundings. I’m not sure which is a more fearful sight, the Mist behind me or the clearly haunted forest that lies ahead.
The trees look as though they are caught in battle with each other; striving for the blocked out sun above the canopy. The white moss hanging from the branches gives off the illusion of a forest full of ghosts.This must be the Tanglewood Forest.I take a breath and shake off all that has just flashed before my eyes.
“Nasty stuff, that mist,” I say to myself as I sheathe my sword at my hip and set off through the forest.
“Look for the gnomes on the other side of the Tanglewoods she said… pfft, but what about navigating this bloody forest of death?” I mutter as I dodge the wispy moss and duck under branches – that I swear are moving to try and hit me in the head purposely.
