30
Itold the others I wasn't feeling well and left the bar in a taxi. Gael teased I was getting so old I wasn’t able to party like a teenager anymore without getting sick.
But it hadn’t been a lie. I did feel sick. My stomach was knotted into a heavy lump. Sharp daggers stabbed through my chest. My eyes burned with the effort to hold back tears the entire taxi ride home.
The moment I stepped into my apartment and closed the door, I slumped against it and let the tears come. I knew my makeup was leaving black streaks on my cheeks but I didn’t care. I was lost in a red haze of heartbreak, fury and a twisted sort of self-loathing.
As angry as I was with Liam, I was just as upset with myself.
How could I not have seen this coming? It wasn’t the first time Liam’s jealousy had caused tension between us. He’d been suspicious of Morris a few times before already.
I should have known eventually something like this would happen.
I threw my purse and phone on the sofa and watched them almost bounce off the cushions and onto the floor. I kicked my boots off with enough force to send them flying against the wall with a thud. I was wearing black socks, the only color I owned.
Liam had been disappointed at the boring color, hoping to tease me about some embarrassing design.
I took in a shuddering breath. I swiped at my cheeks. The back of my hand came back smudged with mascara.
The last time my makeup had been smeared over my face, Liam had wiped it away with a gentle thumb. He’d said my smokey eye was more of a forest fire.
It was hard to breathe around the clenching in my chest. The vise grip threatened to squeeze the life out of me. The tears wouldn’t stop falling down my cheeks.
How could things have gone so wrong so quickly?
I wanted to scream until my lungs gave out. I wanted to collapse into a heap of misery. I wanted to punch the wall until my knuckles bled.
I didn’t do any of that. I simply stripped out of my clothes and slid into bed, not even bothering to wash my face. A quick wipe with a tissue would have to do.
A shivery-cold feeling began to creep its way under my skin, into my every nerve.
It was happening again.
I'd opened myself up, given everything I had, let myself be vulnerable…
And now that it had all blown up in my face, I was falling apart. Again.
I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want to feel. I wanted to fall into the oblivion of sleep where Liam’s words could no longer haunt me.
How do I know you won’t just go running after him the first chance you get?
I swallowed around the lump of rage and despair taking root in my stomach.
He couldn’t possibly think I might cheat on him. It had to have just been anger over seeing me hug Morris.
But even words said in anger couldn’t be dismissed.
I heard my phone ping. I rolled over and ignored it. It pinged again. And again. I flopped over onto my side and grabbed it.
The fuck is up with Liam?Gael had texted.
How should I know?I wrote back.
After you took off he got all pissy. Told us to call a taxi cause he was leaving. Fucker left us stranded and drunk.
I’m sure you’ll manage, I replied.
Do you need me to kick his ass?
