And maybe it was a bad distraction, getting in the way of my work.
But maybe, angsting about what other people were saying was better than angsting over all the shit I'd been trying to suppress. It was easier. If I kept all my focus outward, I didn't have to deal with the creeping darkness threatening to overtake me at the very thought of Har—
"I want you to promise me something," Liam said, interrupting my thoughts.
The warmth of his touch helped calm me. Some of the anxiety that manifested itself as tightness in my chest slowly began to ease.
"Promise you what?" I asked.
"Don't go on the Internet for the next few weeks," Liam said.
I let out a choked snort. "What century are you living in?" I asked him.
"I'm not saying cut yourself off completely, but the only thing you should be worrying about is this tour. If you want us to be ready in time, you need to focus on what's important… like me," he said with a cheeky grin.
"You think you're the most important thing I should be paying attention to? You really do have an overactive ego."
I knew Liam was just trying to distract me and keep the rumor off of my mind. As annoyed and upset as I had been with him before, and as much as I had pushed him away, I had to be grateful that he had found a way to calm me down. My tensed muscles had begun to wind down, and my nails were no longer biting into my skin.
"Thanks," I murmured quietly.
Liam gave me one last pat on my back before standing.
"Why don't we continue practice?" Liam said.
"Sounds good to me," Nathan said. He was eyeing Liam and I curiously.
I hated that I'd gotten so upset, but it was almost worse that the guys had watched Liam soothe me like an upset child. I'd been so resolved to keep it together around him, especially when we were in front of the others. At least I could reassure myself that I hadn't been swooning over Liam like some fourteen-year-old girl. It was a small favor, but I would take it. The last thing I needed was for my band members to know I had this stupid, silly crush on my new guitarist.
I'd worked so hard to prove myself in the music industry. Being a girl in a rock band was never going to be easy. I had to show I could hack it. I had to be a professional. I didn't want to risk losing all of the respect I'd built up.
Liam slung his guitar strap over his shoulder and nodded his head to me.
"You ready to start?" he asked.
I stood up from the sofa and grabbed my microphone.
"I'm ready," I said. "I'm not going to let stuff like this keep on bothering me."
Even if that wasn't quite true, at least I could pretend.
I didn't know if I'd be able to keep myself from reading trashy blog rumors, but the memory of Liam’s palm on my bare skin — the memory of his hands, of his fingers, entwined with mine — made me want to keep my promise.
