I grabbed my purse from the floor. I paused for a moment before unzipping the small side pocket and pulling out the unopened letter.
"I didn't just find an empty pill bottle on the nightstand," I confessed. "I found this letter. It's addressed to me, in my mom's handwriting."
I handed Noah the letter. He took it gingerly. "It's stilled sealed."
"I've never opened it."
He stared at me. "Why not?"
"I'm afraid."
"Of what it might say?"
"It's like I said. Playing music with my mom, writing music with her, was the only time she was happy. And it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. And I've never been ready to hear her last words to me. Except…" I took the letter back from Noah. "I think now I am."
Noah squeezed one of my hands. I took a deep breath and tore a small line down the edge of the envelope. I pulled out the letter.
Except it wasn't a letter. It was several thin pieces of sheet music. I frowned and turned the papers over. No writing, just lines and lines of music notes.
"Is this a song?" Noah asked, taking a few sheets to examine himself. He scanned through the pages. "This is really good. I can imagine how it would sound live. It's moving." He flicked his eyes to me. "It sounds a lot like you. It sounds a lot like the song we're working on now."
"We were—" I halted, the words catching in my throat. "We were working on a song together. We hadn't managed to finish it before…" I trailed off, reading the first few words at the very top of the sheet. The title of the song.
You Are My Heart
"There's something written here." Noah held the last page in his hand.
I took it from him. There were three words in my mother's handwriting. I mouthed the words, but couldn't speak them out loud.
Noah said them for me, murmuring them quietly.
"Please forgive me." His eyes met mine. "Those were your mother's last words."
Tears fell from my eyes.
"Playing music with me, writing music with me, was the only thing that made my mom happy," I told him. "And even that wasn't enough. She still killed herself." I looked down at my lap, my vision blurry with tears. "I always felt like I would never be good enough. I wasn't good enough to save my mom."
Noah enveloped me in a flurry of arms and blankets. "You're mother killing herself hadnothingto do with you. Nothing. It's not your fault."
"She finished our song," I murmured thoughtfully. I leaned back into his embrace. I let the letter fall from my hands onto the mattress. I rested my head on Noah's chest and wrapped my arms around him. He pulled me into a tight hug.
"Can you?" Noah asked quietly. I knew what he was asking.
Please forgive me.
"Yes," I said simply. "I think I can now."
