"I remember you saying you went through some tough times." He looked chagrinned. "I'm sorry I said all those shitty things to you. About your mom and everything else."
"I know you're sorry. I forgive you. Just don't do it again."
Noah shifted in his seat, looking uncomfortable. "I'm going to get us some drinks."
He grabbed two beers from the bartender and brought them back to our table. I hesitated before taking the beer he handed me.
"Maybe we should lay off the alcohol tonight," I suggested carefully.
Noah squinted at me. "Why?"
"It just seemed like we do a lot of drinking."
"I'm a rock star. It's what we do."
"I suppose." I picked at the label on the beer bottle. "I just wonder if it's too much sometimes."
Noah gave me a curious look. "Are you really so worried about it?"
"A little," I admitted. "We're always going to a bar whenever we go out. You got drunk at that club and you got drunk at Cameron's party."
Noah eyed me. "I'm not an alcoholic."
"I'm not saying you are. I'm just saying maybe you don't always need alcohol to mask your feelings."
He leaned back in his chair, taken aback. "Is that what you think I'm doing?"
"I don't know. Maybe. We just finished talking about some heavy stuff and you immediately went to get a drink."
He went silent for a few moments before pushing his beer across to the other side of the table. "Okay. I won't drink tonight."
I met his eyes, surprised. "Really?"
"I'm not saying you're right. But if it bothers you so much I'll ease up."
Relief blossomed in my chest. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."
"Does this mean you want to continue spending the night talking about our feelings?" He almost grimaced as he said the words.
"I actually wanted to ask you something about the other guys."
"If Cameron's being a pain in your ass—"
"No," I interrupted. "It's nothing like that." I flushed, not wanting to bring up the subject, but knowing it had to be said. "They know we're sleeping together."
"And?"
"And you're okay with that?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Just wondering how much of your personal life you want the guys to know about."
"I don't care if they know who I'm fucking."
I swallowed hard before asking. "Is that all this is?"
Noah stared at me, his eyes unreadable. He stared at me so long I began to regret asking. I wanted to take back what I'd said. I shouldn't have tried to have this conversation with Noah. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
