"Lily liked it when I played. I came up with stuff I thought she'd enjoy."
"My mom liked it when I played, too," I said. "I used to wonder if it was the only thing that kept her from—" I cut myself off sharply.
Noah stared at me with sharp eyes.
I avoided his gaze. "Anyway. If it's something you composed for your sister, I think your fans would like it, too."
"I don't know."
"You don't know if you want to expose that much of yourself to the world?" I guessed.
Noah shot me a dark look. "Always think you know everything," he muttered.
"You said you only wrote your songs because they were marketable, but I don't think that's true. You wouldn't have been able to touch so many people's hearts if you hadn't put something of yourself into them."
"And did I touch your heart? Did my words speak to you?"
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You know, at first, I couldn't reconcile the Noah Hart I knew from those lyrics with the Noah Hart I'd met in person. But those two men aren't so very different."
"Right. Now that we've been fucking for weeks, you're starting to think I really am that passionate, romantic poet you crushed on as a teenager?"
"I've gotten to know you, Noah," I said. "You act like an ass sometimes, but you can also be sweet. Thoughtful. And I think if you used that song, your fans would get to know the Noah Hart I've gotten to know."
"And what makes you think I care about my fans getting to know me?"
"You don't have to be scared of showing people the real you."
Noah stood from the bench. "You don't know anything."
"I know you had a bad childhood. I know that your sister got hurt and you feel like it's your fault."
Noah's face was dark and clouded over. He looked like he was biting his tongue. I pressed on.
"I know that you were betrayed once by people you trusted. I know that's why you don't let people in. But you don't have to be afraid. You can open up to people. You can open up to me."
He clenched his fists. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
"You think I don't get it? If you opened up once in a while maybe you'd see that you're not the only one who's experienced pain."
"You think you understand?" His eyes burned with resentment. "Poor Jennifer. Her mom was sad all the time. What a terrible childhood."
Anger rose in my chest, pushing down the devastating pain his words had caused. I clenched my fists so hard they shook, resisting the urge to punch him. "You can be a real jerk sometimes, you know that?"
"You say this like it's new information."
"I'm just trying to help you. If you don't stop acting so pissy—"
"Who says it's an act? This is how I am." He put his back to me and brought his beer to his lips to take a swig of his beer.
A storm raged through my chest. I wanted to punch something. Kick something. Namely, Noah.
"If that's how you're going to be, then fine. Feel free to wallow in your unresolved guilt issues forever. Finish your goddamn song on your own."
I turned on my heel. I waited a moment to see if he would stop me.
He didn't say a word.
I stormed away, blinking back tears.
