17
At first I'd been upset. Beyond upset. Noah had said such sweet things to me the night before, then shut right down and thrown me out the next morning. I had seethed the whole way home, stomping my feet with every step and cursing Noah Cranky Hart.
Once I calmed down, I tried to see things rationally. Clearly I'd poked Noah in a sore spot. I shouldn't have provoked him. I certainly shouldn't have mentioned his sister.
I suppose he'd had his reasons for acting like that. He clearly didn't like talking about his feelings. He was obviously embarrassed about how much he'd shared. I wasn't going to let him off lightly, but I would at least give him a chance to apologize for throwing me out like that.
After a few days I sent a text, saying that we should talk. No answer. I left voicemails. Nothing.
It seemed Noah had been telling the truth when he said he was done.
"You look like you're a million miles away!" my friend Natalie said as she popped her head around my shoulder to smile at me.
I had a standing lunch date with my two best friends. We had lived together while we were at college. They had both moved in with their boyfriends so we'd made a pact to have lunch together at least once a week to make sure we kept in touch.
Ivy had recently reunited with her long lost childhood sweetheart, Ren Sada, after five years. Natalie had managed to capture the attention of her lifelong crush Morris Edwards.
Both happened to be members of Darkest Days' rival rock band Feral Silence.
Nat and Ivy managed to stay down to earth, despite having famous boyfriends. They often teased me that I should try to snag a rock star boyfriend of my own.
My mind immediately went to Noah. I scoffed at the thought of him ever actually opening up enough to someone to be their boyfriend. Even friends-with-benefits was out of the question, since Noah didn't have friends. We were merely work colleagues who had sex.
And as it turned out, we weren't even that anymore.
"Tell us about your new job," Natalie asked.
"I can't," I said with an apologetic shrug. "I signed a non-disclosure agreement." Although I didn't know if I even still had a job.
"That's not fair," she said, faking a pout. "Can't you even tell us where you're working?"
"It's in the music industry, I can tell you that much."
Nat's eyes lit up. "I'm so happy for you, Jen. You've worked so hard. You deserve it."
I looked down at my sandwich, picking out the cucumbers and setting them aside. All my hard work had clearly been for nothing. "I haven't worked any harder than you two have."
"Are you kidding? With all those long hours you pulled practicing before and after class, and on weekends in between your part time jobs? You made the rest of us look like slackers."
There was a reason for that. I had to work ten times as hard to be even half as good as anyone else. As much as I loved music, it didn't come easy to me. Sometimes it felt like I had to struggle to be even one tenth as good as anyone else.
"Ivy, what's wrong?" Nat asked. "You looked like you're ready to explode."
I looked to Ivy. Her eyes were shining. She was practically vibrating in her seat. "I know a secret."
Both Nat and I crowded in to get close.
"Ren let out something he shouldn't have."
"Tell me," Natalie insisted. With her hair pinned in a chic bun and her subtle make up expertly applied, Nat might have been the picture of elegance, if it weren't for her wide-eyes and almost manic expression. "Tell me, tell me!"
Ivy looked to me. "You're not allowed to tell anyone where you're working, right?"
"Right."
She paused for a moment, looking hesitant. "What if someone else found out and told?"
"Ivy." Nat pressed her hands onto the table. "Spill."
