"Of course."
He tugged me down to lay next to him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. His face was softer in its worry.
"The last time she was here… it wasn't good."
I thought back to the rumors. Fans had found out Noah had a little sister. A lot of people were curious about her, since no one knew much about Noah's past. It seemed like he'd sprung from the aether one day as the front man for Darkest Days.
"Can I ask what happened?" I asked tentatively. Noah clutched me tighter to his chest and buried his face in my neck. I'd never seen him so affectionate. So needy. "You don't have to," I hurried to say. "But if you want to talk about it, I'll listen."
"I should have protected her," he whispered.
Icy fear struck my chest. I didn't dare ask for details about what had happened to his sister. I could think of a dozen terrible scenarios.
"It was my fault," he said, the words muffled into my shoulder. "I trusted the wrong people. I promised I'd never made that mistake again."
I brought his face up to meet my eyes with my hands on his cheeks. His eyes were pained and still glassy. I had no doubt he wouldn't be this open if it weren't for the alcohol running through his system.
That was why Noah didn't open up to people. He was afraid of being hurt again. Maybe he was afraid of someone hurting Lily.
"She wants to stay," he blurted out. "Lily wants to come back."
"Would that be a bad thing?"
"I love the idea of her visiting me. I miss her. I want to spend more time with her. But I don't know if she should live here permanently."
"You're worried it will happen again?" Whateveritwas. I didn't know if Noah was ready to tell me yet.
"Iknowsomething will happen again. That's the nature of people. We're selfish. We only care about ourselves. We don't care who we hurt. We betray those closest to us if it means we gain something."
My heart clenched in my chest. "Do you really believe that?"
"Yes," he said automatically. After a few seconds he shook his head. "No. I don't know. Maybe." He groaned and rolled over onto his back. He ran a hand over his face. "My head's all screwed up. I know that."
"You're not screwed up."
He snorted.
"You have issues," I explained. "Everyone does."
He turned his head to look at me. "Including you?"
I thought back to my unopened letter. "Including me," I said quietly. "But there's nothing wrong with that, as long we acknowledge our problems and work towards fixing them and don't just let them fester." I almost laughed at how hypocritical I was being. I wasn't working on my problem at all. I was ignoring them quite soundly. But… "People are flawed," I continued. "That's what makes us humans."
"I'm more than flawed."
"You're—" I thought for a moment. "You have trust issues. You have guilt issues. But you can work on that. You don't always need to push people away." I laid my head on his chest. "You can let me in. You can trust me."
His heartbeat slowed. His breathing evened out.
"I do trust you," he murmured, half asleep.
The words warmed me from the inside. Trust clearly didn't come easy to Noah.
I only hoped he still felt that way when he woke up.
