He thought for a moment. "It wasn't the music so much," he murmured. "It was an English teacher who—" he cut himself off, looking almost embarrassed.
"What about your English teacher?" I prompted.
"He got me into poetry," he admitted.
"You had aOh Captain, My Captainmoment?"
Noah looked almost amused. "Are you really referencingDead Poet's Society?"
"Robin Williams at his best." I gave him a small smile. "So you got into writing poetry first? Then the music came later?"
"It was an outlet, of sorts. A way to deal with all the shit I was going through."
I opened my mouth to ask exactly what kind ofshitthat might be, but stopped myself. I'd listened to his lyrics enough times to guess. There was something in his past that caused him pain, that caused him grief. Something that made him feel angry and guilty and alone. I didn't want to open up that Pandora's box. We weren't quite ready for that. Not yet.
"My teacher convinced me to go to some poetry readings," Noah continued. "That's how August found me."
I sat up straight, getting excited. There was little information online about how the band had formed. "August saw you at a poetry reading?"
"He was looking for a lyricist. August can compose music but he's no good with words. Then he approached me and found out I could sing, too. That's how it all began."
"I never knew. There's not much about you guys before you burst onto the scene."
Noah shifted uncomfortably. "None of us want people prying into our past. Our personal lives."
"I'm sorry," I said automatically, suddenly ashamed. "I don't want you to think I'm prying. I just really think knowing more about you will help me."
"And what about you? Don't I deserve to know about you? And don't say you've got nothing. Everyone's got a story to tell."
I hesitated. I didn't know how much to share.
"It was my mom," I began slowly. "My mom used to play piano professionally when she was younger. She's the one who got me into music. I have a lot of good memories of sitting next to her on the piano bench as she taught me scales. We used to—" I paused to clear the lump in my throat, forcing myself to continue. "We used to write music together. It feels like I've been writing and playing forever."
"Tell me about your first."
I flushed, my mind immediately jumping to all sorts of connotations.
Noah noticed and smirked.
"Your first instrument," he clarified. "Although if you want to tell me about the other, I'm all ears."
"My first instrument was the piano, just like my mom," I said, ignoring him and moving on. I didn't need to start thinking about sex and Noah and all the various ways I'd like to have sex with Noah. At least the sexual frustration was helping disperse the spike of pain radiating from my chest. My purse with the letter was only a few feet away on the sofa. I could practically feel the thin paper between my fingers. Could see the fancy handwriting on the envelope.
"But you also play other instruments, right?" Noah asked.
"I like to experiment," I said, turning my attention back to our conversation. "You know what they say, jack of all trades, master of none."
"You don't think you've mastered anything?"
"Like I told Naomi, I play well enough to get by. Although I suppose I'm not bad on the hammered dulcimer. That one's my favorite."
He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "That's different."
"Maybe that's why I like it. No one else at my music academy plays it."
"Does it matter if you're the only one who plays it?"
"I suppose not." Even though it was a lie, I wasn't going to bare all of my insecurities to Noah, that was for damn sure. "So that's how I got into music."
We both went silent for a few moments. I had a feeling this was as much as we were ready to share about ourselves with each other.
"And did all this sharing help you?" he asked. I could tell he was trying to sound sarcastic, but I caught a hint of real curiosity.
"Let's get back to work and see, shall we?"
We continued working on our song, talking things through and hashing it out. All the while, I tried to hide my elation.
Even though it required me sharing more of myself than I'd wanted, I'd finally gotten Noah to open up to me.
