25
As I sat slumped on my sofa, nestled in a pile of blankets and eating vanilla ice cream topped with chocolate syrup from the container while covered in glitter, I realized I was the poster child for the "before" photo of a motivational infomercial.
I'd given up on the arts and crafts portion of my night and decided to spend the rest of my evening brooding. I'd had a hard few days, emotionally speaking, and had hit my limit when the glitter wouldn't stay glued to the styrofoam. I'd been three seconds away from tossing the whole thing in the garbage before I forced myself to take calming breaths and escaped to the kitchen to grab the ice cream.
If Tracey wanted a crystal ball, she'd have to make one herself.
I mindlessly flicked through various news sites on my phone, wanting to keep up to date with the rest of the world. It was all bad, awful, terrible news, one after another. I read up on it anyway, wanting to be well informed, but I was already feeling pretty awful about the state of things, and soon switched to cute animal videos for my own sanity.
I'd had a fight with my mom, a fight with Nathan, and the worst part was, I knew a lot of it was my own damned fault.
Yes, my mother shouldn't have forbid me to see the boy I was dating, and yes, Nathan shouldn't have presumed to tell me that he knew about my heart defect better than my doctors. That was shitty of them. But they were only trying to look out for me, trying to do what was in my best interests. I should have been more patient and understanding. I shouldn't have just stormed out on them.
But I didn't want to back down. I wasn't the only one who had overreacted. I knew I was just being stubborn, but I didn't want to be the one to apologize first.
A knock on my apartment front door startled me, almost making me drop a spoonful of ice cream in my lap. No one ever came to that door. My parents always used the entrance connecting my apartment to the house. It wasn't like I ever got any other visitors.
Maybe my mom was trying something new, since I'd been ignoring her messages for days.
I put the tub back in the freezer and went to the door, unlocking it. I swung the door open.
Nathan was standing in front of me.
I blinked, taken aback, before grabbing him and yanking him inside.
"What are you doing?" I hissed. "My parents might have seen you!"
"I made sure to come around the side of the house," he said. "I don't think they saw me."
"You don'tthink?" I slammed the door behind me and turned to face him.
He looked handsome as ever, with his hair falling into his eyes and his tight t-shirt showing off every plane of his chest muscles and tattooed arms. His dark denim jeans were crisp and his sneakers were pristine.
"Is that… glitter?" he asked.
I immediately became aware of my ratty sweat pants, messy hair and glittered skin.
I folded my arms over my chest, suppressing a flush.
"I was doing some crafts for the New Year's in July party," I explained.
"You know that stuff gets everywhere."
"Yes, I do know, thank you," I said. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to apologize," he said. His words were a combination of earnest and chagrinned. "I was doing a lot of thinking and I realized what I did to you was really shitty."
I nodded to show I was listening. "It was."
"I could make excuses and say I was only looking out for you, but I know it's not my place to tell you what to do. You're an adult. You can make your own life choices."
The look in his eyes was pained but sincere. He truly was sorry.
I let my defensive arms fall to my sides.
"I need to apologize, too," I said. "I overreacted by getting so upset. I understand that you were just doing what you thought was best for my health. You were worried about me because you care."
Nathan's eyes lit up with relief.
