13
Iran back down to the party, leaving Nathan in bed and looking befuddled for the second time since we'd met.
My heart pounded, and it wasn't solely from the surprise of being walked in on.
What the hell was wrong with me? I'd allowed my thoughts to wander to entirely inappropriate places.
Yes, I had fun being around Nathan, and yes, he was a great guy. But that was it. That had to be all it was.
I couldn't allow it to be anything else.
But the aching feeling in my chest remained. Nathan had opened himself up to me, and I to him. The way he'd stared into my eyes and whispered my name, the soft touch of his fingers against my skin, the way he'd confided to me all the things he couldn't tell anyone else…
My heart thumped a heavy beat.
It had to have just been the alcohol, right? There was no way we would have said the things we had if we'd both been sober.
But even as I told myself that, I knew it was a lie. We'd barely touched the bottle of rum he'd brought with us.
I found myself back in the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of something dark amber along with a plastic cup. I headed toward the back of the mansion as I poured myself what I hoped was a few shots of liquor. I needed something to dull my rising panic.
"Hey," a voice said behind me in a low tone.
I started, nearly splashing the alcohol down the front of my shirt. Julian held his palms up, as if to show he meant no harm.
"Didn't mean to scare you," he said.
"You're like a cat," I accused.
The corner of his lips turned up, then fell, his expression turning serious.
"What's up with Nate?" he asked with no preamble.
"What do you mean, what's up with him?" I asked, heartbeat still pounding.
"He's acting weird," Julian said.
"He's been acting totally normal around me." Up until a few minutes ago, at least.
"Right," he said. "Around you. Around us, he's weird. All shifty. Distant. Gael tries to pry it out of him, but he's tight-lipped. We're…"
Julian trailed off, looking uncomfortable. He shifted his eyes until they were looking at a point over my shoulder.
"We're worried," he said, almost under his breath, as if the words were being dragged out of him and he didn't want anyone else to hear.
Julian flicked his eyes back to mine, looking at me expectantly, but I didn't say anything, just took a sip of my drink.
I knew he must have been talking about Nathan's sick mother. He clearly hadn't told anyone about it.
Julian and I stared each other down, neither of us saying a thing. There was a heavy weight to his look, like he was trying to pull the answers out of me. I had a feeling this guy could handle silence for longer than most people before starting to feel awkward.
He was also probably used to winning staring contests, because the man was intense.He'd seemed dispassionate and almost uncaring during the game, but there was clearly more to the guy than I'd originally thought. Although he might play it cool on the outside, there was a fire inside him, just waiting to be unleashed.
The contrast was oddly intriguing.
I held my own, even though the intensity of his gaze was unnerving. He broke first, which I had to assume didn't often happen, because his eyes narrowed at me, looking almost impressed. He nodded.
"Fine. You don't have to say. But if he's confiding in you…" Julian eyed me carefully, as if studying a specimen under a microscope. "You must be pretty special."
