"It's like I said. I'm just looking for the same rush I get when playing on stage."
My shaky hands were steady now, my hands less clammy. Talking with Nathan calmed me with every minute.
"What's it like, being on stage?" I asked.
His eyes lit up the way they had when he'd talked about zorbing. This time though, the fire inside them burned even brighter, his eyes taking on an almost manic glint.
"There's nothing better," he said. "All those fans cheering me on, feeling the music in my bones, pulling magic from the strings of my guitar…" He closed his eyes and made a noise in the back of his throat. "It's so much better than those adrenaline rushes. It's even better than sex sometimes." He peeled his eyes open and grinned at me. "Sometimes."
"Good to know our little rendezvous ranks up there among skydiving and concerts." I pulled my hands out from under my thighs and grabbed the bottle of water for another swig. "But playing on stage can't always be great. What about in your early days when you weren't that good? What if you're playing to a tough crowd and they boo at you?"
Nathan shrugged. "It's happened before. You learn to push through it. You can't please everyone, but as long as we can make our hardcore fans happy, it's all good."
"That's a very zen way of looking at things."
"You sound surprised."
"You just seem like one of those live-in-the-moment kind of people."
"Is that bad?"
"No. I wish I could be more like you. You've only got one life to live. Might as well live it doing what you love."
"Do you not love what you do?" he asked.
"I like working at the pet shop. I love working with children. But—" I hesitated, wondering how much to tell him. "I've just missed out on a lot of stuff, that's all."
"Overprotective parents," he nodded in understanding.
"Yeah," I said, although that was only half the story.
"You're an adult. You can do anything you want."
"Within reason."
"Fuck reason," he said. "What's one thing you've always wanted to do that you never have?"
"I don't know. Lots of stuff."
"Pick one," he urged. "It doesn't have to be crazy. It just has to be something you'd regret not doing on your deathbed."
I through back to all those long days in my youth when I had nothing but time to think about all the things I'd never have a chance to do.
"I've never gone to one of those teenaged house parties," I finally said.
A sly grin creeped across Nathan's lips. "A house party?"
"You know the ones in the movies?" I continued. "The rich kid's parents are away and everyone gets loud and drunk and someone swings from a chandelier and people smash glass tables and there's always a pool out back that someone jumps into from the roof?"
The more I spoke, the wider his grin spread.
"I know exactly the kind of rager you're talking about," he said.
"And let me guess. You know exactly how to throw one? Why am I not surprised."
"Rock stars know how to party." He pulled out his phone and thumbed rapidly. There was a reply within seconds. He turned his phone around to show me the screen with a date and a time. "Your wish is my command."
"You've planned a raging party in the five seconds it took to text?"
