“He cares about you,” Aiden says to soften the blow.
“I see that.”
“I care too,” he appeals.
“I know.”
“I just can’t betray…”
“I know. I wouldn’t ask you to.”
“Are we okay?”
“Nope.”
“Wh—”
I pout, keeping my expression silly and free of accusations or true disappointment. “You two were getting me all hot and heavy and thenbam, out comes the bloody envelope of doom and all hope for additional orgasms is gone.”
“Greedy girl,” Aiden laughs, reaching for me and pulling me back into bed beside him. He tickles me until I screech at him to stop, and then he tucks me into his body, big spoon style. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be silly. There’s nothing to apologise for. Neither of you has done anything wrong and now I finally understand why Franz is insistent on getting to me. I’m sure he’d do anything to root out the spies embedded in his operations. Makes this whole thing a little more worthwhile if I helped protect people when I brought that envelope back to you.”
“You have no idea.” I let Aiden’s warmth sink into me and pull me into a cocoon of comfort that borders sleep.
At some point I must succumb, because I’m startled awake in the dark room with Dax shaking me gently enough not to disturb Aiden. His eyes are ringed, red, and purple, from sleeplessness. I’m guessing he didn’t come back to bed.
“Come with me.” His words are soft as a caress.
I get up and follow, concerned that something has happened and too tired to question what it might be. The passageway door is open, and Dax pulls me inside and around the door to find ahuge safe standing open. The door is as thick as my forearm. Soft blue lights illuminate the shelves within. There are books, passports, money, gold bars, envelopes, folders, and photographs stacked neatly, but the shelf before me has three sheets of white paper dotted with faded brown smears. They look like worksheets with tables printed on them. The print is super small, and there must be fifty lines per sheet. Names, codenames, coordinates, a phone number, and a random twelve-digit code per line.
I don’t need to ask what this is. Without my permission, in one mercurial glance at the page, Dax just made me a Secret Keeper. He doesn’t give me time to react; he pulls away the first sheet and shows me the second. Then does the same for the third. Some of the names have lines drawn through them and dates handwritten into the edges. Operatives already burned or dead?
“Got it all?”
I nod silently. Still too stunned to absorb what is happening.
“Good,” he whispers urgently. “If you’re about to die, you give them a name. You hear me? Give them one name at a time.Fuck.Make them work for it,” he hisses, then shakes his head. “Just…” His eyes are thick with unshed tears. “Just start at the top of the list. I’ve memorised the top five. I’ll start burning them if you get captured, so it’ll be okay to give them to Franz. He’ll be too late to capture them. It’s…it’s the best I can do. I’m sorry.”
I raise my hand to hold Dax’s blurred face. His tears are raining now. Mine too. He drops his head into my hand, pressing his cheek hard into my palm looking for solace or forgiveness. I understand his desperation. I just don’t think I deserve it.
“I know,” I tell him. “Thank you for caring so deeply for me.”
“We won’t let it come to that. I swear. I’ll figure out a way to keep you safe. To make sure he’ll be ending his own life if he comes after yours. I just need more time.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” Dax nods, his lips tremble before he pulls me in andkisses me on the forehead. “Go back to bed. I’ll take care of this. Don’t tell…”
“I won’t,” I whisper.
He kisses me again, and I do as he asks, hearing the passageway door close behind me and knowing he won’t be back tonight. What he just did,what he made me do, places a heavy burden on both our shoulders, and if I’m feeling the edges of guilt, then he must be drowning in it.
I slink back into bed, feeling all the worse when Aiden’s arm automatically slides around my waist. His half-asleep drawl grumbles at me to,“Go back to sleep, Tiger.”
But there’s no sleep to be had. Only names that flicker through my mind. Faceless people whose lives are now firmly in my hands.
Chapter Twenty-four
