Adam blinked in confusion at Dane, then said, “No. Why would you think he’d hurt me?”
“I don’t think he’d do it on purpose. But doesn’t sex hurt?”
“If it hurts, then you’re doing it wrong,” Bas supplied.
“I like what Ru and I do together.” Adam glanced away shyly. “He makes me feel good, and I do my best to make sure he does too.”
“What about when he’s, you know... Doesn’t that hurt?” Dane asked.
“Huh?” Adam just looked confused. “You know?”
“Like inside...”
Adam’s eyes widened. “Oh, we don’t do that. Lots of other stuff but not that.” He flushed. “My mom gave me a book that is like the everything book on gay sex. I’ve read about it. Ru and I have talked about it. But I’m not ready for that yet.” He coughed into his hands and looked away. “We’ve touched a bit there. It’s just too weird for me. Ru says it’s okay if we never do that.”
Dane fell into silence, probably thinking about what they’d said. Bas made a mental note that Dane had likely experienced sexual abuse. Bas had seen it at the shelter time and again, heard about it on the phones at the crisis center when he talked someone down from a virtual ledge. He watched Dane pick at his eggs, but he had loaded up on veggies and fruit and seemed to be eating okay. He also had a stack of those prepackaged peanut butter packages, and was eating those with a spoon. Protein at least. And Bas now knew another obstacle existed to Dane’s healing, but not an insurmountable one. He’d have to do more research.
“Not all gay men like anal sex. There’s plenty of other ways to get off,” Bas told them. “Don’t ever let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.” He raised his hand. “Learn from the man with experience. Doing something because someone else says they gotta have it or they’ll leave you is just going to mess you up in the end. It sounds like you and Ru have good communication going about what you like and don’t like. That’s smart.”
Adam shrugged. “I like being with Ru. Maybe someday we’ll do that. But what’s the rush when everything else is so good?”
“Amen,” Bas said as he pulled up the agenda he’d downloaded onto his phone the previous night. They’d start with the sauna, then a salt scrub and mud wrap, and on to a massage, a break for lunch and to rehydrate, then nails, hair, and a facial. Neither of the boys he was with liked to be touched by anyone they didn’t know. It was going to be an interesting day. He made sure he cleared his plate and that Dane ate enough to support his too-lean six-foot frame. Dane needed to add a good fifty pounds. Bas hoped they could keep him moving toward a healthy body.
He passed over a few more peanut butter cups. It was better than nothing. And since they were sealed, Dane seemed to have no issue with popping the top and digging in a spoon or a slice of apple. Adam and Bas waited until Dane was done, finishing his last bit of peanut butter and fruit, then wiping his hands on a napkin. He glanced up at them as though surprised there were there.
“What?” Dane asked, worry creeping into his expression.
“Nothing at all. You guys ready to sweat out some toxins?” Bas asked as he stood. Others were beginning to filter into the dining area, and Dane was looking more and more nervous.
“Sweat? Are we working out?” Dane asked.
“Sauna,” Bas replied. “We get naked and sit in a really hot, humid room together. Sounds like fun, right? I’ve seen a lot of porn begin that way.” He didn’t miss that all the color drained from Dane’s face. Bas braced himself for the man to have another panic attack. “No one will be in there but us. And we’ll have towels covering our important bits.”
“Ru and I have done it at the community center,” Adam said. “Helps work the kinks out of my muscles if I’ve been running like crazy. Ru says it’s good for our skin too. I almost always doze.” He got up. “Tommy actually has one in his loft. Ru swears it improves his voice. When he came back from the tour he was in there for days. Helps me too, after a long run. Eases my lungs a bit.”
A woman approached them. “If you’re ready, we have private changing rooms available for you.”
Adam nodded.
“Lead the way.”
They followed her back to a private area with large stalls for changing. Dane glared at the curtained rooms. Adam disappeared inside one without any hesitation.
Bas waited for Dane to pick a room. When he didn’t move, Bas put his hand lightly on Dane’s shoulder.
“No one will be looking at you. You can even go in first if you want. Just let me know if you start to feel light-headed. We have to drink lots of water today to stay hydrated as we cleanse the toxins from our bodies.”
“Toxins?”
“Gases and chemicals that our bodies produce. Stuff that comes from the air. The idea is to release all that junk that causes stress and just relax. There will be people touching you today. Are you going to be okay?” Bas was really surprised that Tommy had brought Dane at all. But unlike most changing areas, the mirrors were covered, so they had known he was coming. Bas hoped focusing on Dane’s physical health rather than his appearance would help. “The idea is to destress, and is more mental than physical. Let your body relax and your mind will follow.”
Bas motioned to an empty room as Adam was coming out with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Adam stuffed his clothes into a locker, glanced at them and then at the door to the private sauna.
“Are you guys coming? Seriously, if you don’t, I’m going to fall asleep and get cooked.”
Dane sighed and stomped into a room, then jerked the curtain closed.
“Right behind you, sweetie,” Bas told Adam, motioning him toward the sauna. He took an empty room, stripped out of his clothes, folded everything neatly, and wrapped a towel tightly around his hips before leaving the room and putting his things in a locker. Dane’s curtain was still closed. “You ready, Dane? If you hand me your clothes, I’ll put them in a locker for you.”
