“Sandy died when she left.” Dane shook his head. She hadn’t even been gone that long.
“But you won’t. ’Cause we’re right here with you. Nothing bad is going to happen. In fact, if you want, we can make more cookies. Or something else and send more to Ru and Adam. I have endless recipes to try.” Bas took the bag Tommy held and began digging out normal clothes: a T-shirt, soft cotton yoga pants, boxers, and flip-flops. “Do you need help changing? We have a driver today, you and me. Tommy’s in a separate car just in case the paparazzi follow him.”
Dane ran his hands over the shirt. He didn’t recognize it, but it was baby soft and had the most famous mouse in the world on it. The mouse had a cupcake and the wording read, “You’re sweet.” The size tags had been removed from the clothes. Did he look as bad as he thought he looked? He glanced at the two guys in the room. He didn’t want them to see him.
“I’ll go in the bathroom and change.” He took the clothes and went into the tiny metal room. He’d never changed so fast in his life. There was no lock on the door, and he kept fearing that one of them would walk in on him and see him undressed. No one needed to see him as he was. Not the way he could see himself. It was awful.
When he returned to the room, Bas was sitting on the bed and Tommy leaning beside the door. Tommy pushed away from the wall when he saw Dane.
“Ready to go?”
“No, but yes,” Dane replied. “Are you sure?” He glanced at the door.
“The doctor says this will be good for you. We promise to bring you back here at the first sign of trouble.” Tommy opened the door, and they followed him down the hall. “But maybe a change of scenery will be good?”
Bas grabbed Dane’s hand before he could follow his friend out the front door. “We’re out the back. Paparizzi, remember?”
Dane couldn’t imagine how bad it would be if they caught sight of him now, coming out of rehab. He’d never have peace again. He followed Bas out through the back to where a car waited. No one else was around, for which Dane couldn’t have been happier. He fought not to look around at the world outside the center. Little things could set him off, and he didn’t need to see any of it. Billboards with clothing ads or food, all of it could set him back.
He focused hard on his tablet and the fine weave of Bas’s pants. He couldn’t recall what it was called, but he was sure most people didn’t wear that sort of thing anymore.
“Did you get some sleep?” Bas asked casually.
“I ate the cookies,” Dane confessed, suddenly feeling horrible about eating them. “I shouldn’t have, but I did. I shouldn’t have.”
“Why not? They were your cookies to eat.”
“You told me to hold on to them to remember what I did for Tommy.”
“And do you remember what you did for Tommy even though you ate the cookies?”
Dane frowned and thought about it. Tommy had looked less stressed today. And the picture of Ru and Adam happily eating cookies made him smile.
“I made him happy. I made him and Ru happy.”
“You did. With or without the cookies, remember that you made them happy. Hopefully eating the cookies made you happy for a few moments also.”
“They were good,” Dane said after a minute. “Didn’t taste like anything I remembered.”
“No?”
“The lemon? I don’t remember having lemon in cookies before. I thought it was strange that you put it in, but it didn’t make them bad.”
“It was a bit of a shortbread style recipe. Traditional sugar cookies are caked with frosting. I thought the slightly sweet with a bite of lemon would be more unique.”
They had been. Dane wished he had saved one to try it again. But maybe they would have the change to make more.
They navigated through the city, several big fast food chains passing by. Dane closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. He didn’t want to remember the bad stuff. Couldn’t help but have it dragged out in nightmares lately. Didn’t want to give it life again, but the world just kept shoving it in his face. Finally the car stopped, and they were at a nondescript building. No one was around, but Bas took out a baseball cap and put it on Dane’s head.
“Eyes down and walk fast, just in case,” Bas instructed. They got out, and Dane moved at lightning speed to the door. Bas followed, then led him to the stairway instead of the elevator and up two floors. He had a key apparently, since he unlocked the door and let them in.
“Are you staying here?” Dane had to ask. He wondered again if Tommy was gay and screwing Bas—which would have given him good reason to fly halfway across the country to “help.”
“Nope. Hotel just down the road. I’ve stayed at Tommy’s place in the Cities, but this one is a little small. Only one bedroom.” Bas motioned to the space. “Rented furniture and all that. It’s not Tommy’s style. Not mine really either, but it works for now.” He turned on the TV and navigated to a cartoon. More ponies.
“You got a thing for girly cartoons?” Dane asked.
“Actually a lot of guys have a thing for this cartoon. They’re called Bronies. Bros who like ponies. It’s a huge club. I’m sure there are girls in it too.”
