Chapter Two
Bas slicked his hair back and adjusted his black tie. The suit wasn’t Armani, but it looked nice. Properly somber with charcoal grays and a double-breasted front. A find from Bas’s favorite consignment shop that he’d gotten for a steal.
Gran would have liked it, though she’d have bitched about the lack of color. “Wear a red tie or a blue one,” she would have told him. Today should have been about her, but Bas knew his parents would be there. They’d scowl and throw snide remarks. He’d learned to let most roll off his back. He’d never let them see how their words stung. And the last thing he wanted was to cause a scene at his grandmother’s funeral. He’d embarrassed her enough in life; no need to continue the process after her death.
People belittle others because they fear the faults in themselves.Gran’s voice echoed through his head. She’d been a PFLAG member, gay-straight coalition organizer, and true rainbow flag waver. Bas felt tears sting his eyes again at the thought of all he’d lost.
“Mustn’t go crying now, Sebastian,” he reprimanded himself. “Your mascara will run and you know what Gran said about sloppy makeup. It’s only fit for tired housewives, not somber queens.”
Hard to believe his gran was gone. He’d known it was coming, had sat with her in the hospital and held her hand to the very end. She’d smiled at him, told him he was a good boy, a smart boy. That he was worth the trouble. She believed she’d see him in heaven. Told him more than once to be sure to find some nice boy to love so they could someday walk together in the ever after. She’d introduce them both to the love of her life, Bas’s grandfather and namesake, who had died years before he was born.
The sound of footsteps approaching his room had Bas sucking in a deep breath and adjusting his tie again.
“Game face, gay boy. The little ones are watching. Must be strong for the baby queers.”
Adam appeared in the doorway a second later.
“You ready?” Adam looked good in his Sunday best, shiny shoes, and blond hair brushed to a fine sheen. “Mom and Dad are downstairs in the car. Ru’s waiting by the door.”
“Look how nice you polish up, Adam Corbin.” Bas turned to his best friend, his savior, and smiled. “All sleek lines with that runner’s body. Bet Ru can’t wait to get you alone later. Maul you right through that nicely tailored suit. How about me? Is it dashing enough? Do you think Gran would like it?”
Adam frowned. Ru appeared behind him a second later, and said, “Maybe a colored tie?”
Ru was a gorgeous Japanese-American man who just happened to be a pop star, singer-songwriter extraordinaire, and Adam’s boyfriend. “Your gran loved that blue one with the squares.”
Bas pulled off the black one and threw it on the sofa. He opened his closet and hit the button for his tie carousel until the blue one came around. Screw his parents. Why should he have to pretend to be something else just for them? They were the ones who abandoned him. He tied the blue one expertly, then closed the closet door and waved his friends out of the room.
“Out. No one but the love of my life should see my boudoir. A man’s gotta have some secrets.” He grabbed his laptop, as he’d need it for his tribute.
A smile tugged at the corners of Ru’s lips, but Adam still frowned. “You sure you’re okay?”
They’d been asking that for days.Everyoneasked that. Was he okay? Late at night, all by himself, he was pretty certain he wasn’t. But just like everything else he’d been through in his life, he’d get through this.
“I’m more than okay. Let’s go get this show on the road. Gran would be irritated if we showed up more than fashionably late.” He shut the door to the bedroom and led them through the house. Gran’s house. Now his, according to the will. It was so quiet without her.
The group made their way out to the waiting SUV. Adam climbed in and pulled Bas next to him. Ru sat in the very back. Bas wanted to protest, but Adam grabbed his hand and just held it as the car headed toward the funeral parlor. Tears stung his eyes again. When had he become such a crybaby? Just because he had friends with him? Just ‘cause his grandma died? People died all the time, losing friends, family, whatever. He’d lived through worse, right?
“I’m okay,” he told them all. Yes, he’d lost the only family member who loved him. “Really, I’m okay.” The rest of the ride was silent.
The reception area was packed, but the director was waiting for him. Bas shook his hand. “Thank you again.”
“Of course, Mr. Axelrod. Your grandmother was very explicit about how she wanted this to be. I’ve got a seat reserved for you up front. We’ll get started in just a few minutes. Plug the computer in like I showed you when you’re ready.” The director led them to their seats. Bas took the one on the end directly across from his parents and his little brother. None of them would look at him. His mother sat with her new husband. His father was with Edward, his little brother, and Eddy’s girlfriend, Marissa, backs ramrod straight.
Bas wondered if they knew about the will yet. If not, they would soon. He’d been assured by his grandmother’s lawyers that he had nothing to worry about, but they didn’t know his family like he did. There would be a fight.
Gran changed all the locks on the house shortly after Bas moved in, to keep the rest of the family out. He worried more about the money. Neither of his parents were as well-off as Gran, since they spent every penny they could get in their hands on useless frivolity, but Gran had plenty. Now that, too, was his. Security for his future, she had assured him. Even if he hadn’t gotten a scholarship to a big name school, he would be okay.
At the front of the room was an urn, somewhat plain, surrounded by flowers and a large propped-up picture of his grandmother. He opened his computer and glanced at the presentation again. He’d created it so he wouldn’t have to say much. He was sure he’d get choked up and make a fool of himself. Gran would have liked all the pictures he’d found, the history of her life put to video.
The director motioned him forward and helped set up the computer and adjust a big screen so everyone could watch. When it began, Bas just sat back and thought about his gran. She would have loved this: the people, the flowers, and the little tribute. He could almost feel her sitting beside him, smiling and telling jokes. The worst day of his life had already come and gone. It could only get better. Or so he kept telling himself every time something else fell apart.
The video showed Gran as a baby all the way up to her marriage and children. There were moments with her grandkids and finally those final few happy pictures of her working in the garden before she’d had the last stroke. Bas smiled at the last image of his Gran. She’d been so bright. The only one in his family who accepted him for who he was. He felt tears sting his eyes again and glanced down to clear them before speaking.
“Gran was an amazing woman. She loved like storybooks—strong, fast, and forever. She will be sorely missed. Thank you all for coming.”
Bas looked at his friends, a little sad to see Tommy hadn’t made it after all. At least Adam and Ru were there. Bas stepped off the podium and let the funeral director wrap things up. No one else would be allowed to speak. The ceremony was meant to be small and short, not even a receiving line for condolences, as his grandmother had wanted it. No one would use her death to slander him or make him feel less than he was.
He was happy with the small box she’d purchased at a nearby cemetery to put her remains. He didn’t need a fancy headstone or a somber walk through yards of ignored markers to properly mourn her. He had a little plaque he’d put in her garden once all the snow melted.
