“But I didn’t do anything. I didn’t lead him on or anything. I told him we’re not even friends.” Adam wondered how all this could happen. And yet it all made so much sense. Why Nate’s jockstrap friends didn’t want Adam around. Why they always gave him a hard time. They all knew. “He’s done this before?How could I be so blind?”
“You’re not blind. Nate’s not a good guy. He uses people. Only Nate’s feelings matter to Nate. No one else’s. Don’t let what he does mess with your head.”
A horrible memory popped into Adam’s mind. That night a year ago, finding Bas in the boy’s bathroom, mostly naked and beaten up. Had that been Nate? “Was he there? That night when they beat you in the bathroom?” Had there been more that what Adam saw? He clutched his stomach worried he would upchuck in Bas’s car.
Bas was silent for a minute. “We had a thing going on. It was pretty one-sided. I would meet him there, blow him. He never returned the favor. I thought, hey, the most popular guy in school is attracted to me. But he wasn’t; he used me. That night he told me to meet him, only he wasn’t there—Hank was.”
“That’s awful.” Adam’s head hurt. He just wanted to crawl under the covers and forget this horrible night. Maybe change schools or run away to live with Ru. The last thing he wanted was this kind of nightmare. All he could think of was the pain, the strange sensation of being unsafe, and rising fear.
“Is that what he wanted me to be? Just some body to use? How did I not see this?” Adam had never been interested in anyone before Ru. He thought about all the encounters with Nate in the past and couldn’t think of a single one in which he came across as flirting or interested.
“I’m sorry, Adam. I never thought he’d hurt you physically. After that night, he just ignored me. It was like I only existed after that as someone he could torment when he was around his friends. With you he seemed more subdued. Treated you as an equal. At least in public. I was never his equal. He always shoved me around.” Bas pulled the car into Adam’s driveway. “Do you want me to come in with you?”
“No.” Adam left the pizza with Bas. “I’ll see you next week. I just want to go in and talk to my parents and maybe call Ru.”
“Okay. Call or text if you need me. I’m sorry again. I probably should have been more straightforward with you about what happened between Nate and me. But it’s kind of embarrassing. He left me feeling used, even more than being found half-naked on the bathroom floor did.” Bas stared out the opposite window, expression guarded, like he didn’t really want to talk about it.
Adam nodded, understanding in a way he probably wouldn’t have before this evening had happened, and got out. He waved at Bas that he was free to go as he headed inside. The door open and lights and noise sounding like the TV was on.
Safety washed over him. He was home. Dad wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. Mom would be screaming bloody murder if she found out. He felt sick for a minute. Worried about what they would think. Would they get mad at him? Was there something he should have done differently?
His wrist was really aching. The skin around it was a burst of angry red, purple, and blue. Not good. “Mom, Dad?” he called. Did he sound as freaked out as he felt? He stuffed down the anxiety, needing something, to be held? To cry? To black out? He wasn’t certain.
His dad appeared in the living room first. “What happened?” He crossed the room in two long strides. “You’re shaking. What happened?”
Adam couldn’t hold back anymore. His dad’s arms surrounded him, and Adam cried. He didn’t care he was sixteen and it wasn’t cool to be taken care of by his mom and dad. They wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. And he’d never been ashamed to tell them anything before, but he hesitated for a minute before spilling the evening’s events out in a stuttered breaths between broken tears.
