Derek sat down with them, asked Tommy a few basic questions. “Thoughts of SI, any?”
“No,” Tommy said between sips.
“Good. Can you rate your depression level right this minute? Ten being the worst, one the best.”
“Three?” He thought about that for a minute. “Between three and four. But part of that is anxiety.” Testing his mindset. It wasn’t unusual. The staff was on point with keeping track of how he felt, good or bad.
“Anxiety level?”
“Six.”
Derek asked a few more, taking notes. As Tommy ate, he felt better. With Paige close by, Derek and the NAs watching, it was like the monster couldn’t get to him. It was strange to realize that monster was something in his own head. He would talk to his therapist about it in the morning. Logically he knew it was something in his brain that was messed up, but he’d never seen it as clearly as he did in that moment. Like a separate being. Did that sound crazy? Maybe it was where all the history of demon possession came from. When it took over, it certainly felt like he was possessed, with no control over his thoughts or emotions.
They finished eating, returning to his room, and Tommy worried at his lip that Paige would be leaving. Which meant he’d be by himself in the dark. He’d been sleeping. But vividly remembered the many long nights of tossing and turning that had built to this extreme fear of his. How many sleepless nights would it take to send him back there? Just one?
“Let me find you a pair of pajamas,” Derek said to Paige. “We always have some of those comfy top and bottom sets for occasional overnight visitors.”
“Thanks,” Paige said. “I’m a little tired, but I don’t want to be a bother.”
“No worries. Be right back.” He bounded off, leaving them in Tommy’s space.
“You can stay?” Tommy’s heart leapt in joy, like it was blasting his anxiety away.
“Sure. I’ve got nothing happening super early tomorrow.” She glanced around. “I can sleep on the couch. It looks comfy.”
“You can take the bed and I can take the couch,” Tommy offered immediately.”
She gave him that husky laugh and brushed the barest of kisses across his lips. “I’ll take the couch. Let’s stick to your routine, okay? All you have to do is look up and know I’m right there.” She pointed at the space.
Tommy pulled her into a tight hug and breathed in the scent of her hair, and the feeling of her small breasts pressed against his chest, until Derek returned with PJs, and some pillows and blankets. Paige was life and warmth to him, a beacon in the darkness. Tonight, one of a real type, as she would only be feet away. The couch actually pulled out into a futon sleeper.
“Magic,” Derek winked.
Paige blushed but Tommy helped set up the bed while she went off to change into the pajamas. They were a silky pant and button up top combo. A bit on the big size, but that was okay. Mostly Tommy slept in his boxers and little else, but he had a few pairs of those too. He took his turn in the bathroom, tugging on a set of blue pants with a T-shirt style top, and brushing his teeth. Routine was important. It kept him grounded.
Derek was gone when he returned to the room. Paige had pulled her hair back into a loose braid. She curled up on the futon, wrapped up in a blanket. Having her close helped Tommy relax. He crawled into bed, and turned off the light on the stand, laying down until he was comfortable.
“Thanks for staying,” he whispered in the darkness.
“Anytime,” Paige promised. “Sleep. Things will look a hundred times better tomorrow.”
“You’re psychic?” he teased.
“Of course. It’s part of being a princess.”
He chuckled and tugged his mask into place. The slight weight of it familiar and comforting. He hadn’t realized how tense he’d been at the thought of being alone until he could hear Paige’s breathing in the quiet of his room.
