“You are without a doubt the most devoted friend anyone could ever wish for. When I was a prince?—”
“You’re still a prince, technically,” I remind him.
“I suppose so.” He chuckles. “I meant before all of this happened.” He points to his eye, then strokes my scarred cheek. “I hated the things they said about you. The knights used to call you my bitch, my faithful hound. I held you at arms’ length to try and keep people from saying awful things about you.”
“I’m nothing but a scullery maid, Kai. I’m the one who has to prove myself worthy of you, not the other way around. That’s the simple truth.” Even if I were to save us both and return to Montrace victorious, I know that my reward will amount to little more than a brief reprieve from kitchen work—one I’ll gladly give to my grandmother, who’s earned a respite.
The fantasy I entertained as a girl that Kai would step down from his duties as prince to marry me died the day his brothers did.
This time away from Montrace is all we’ll ever have together. Even if we were to escape the Witch’s clutches, I cannot see myself returning for any reason other than to see Nana again.
I don’t know why The Snow Queen is permitting us to have this moment of intimacy. Perhaps she is feeding off our emotions.
With no viable future for us, there is no reason for me to stop him from tugging the hem of my shirt free. Or to stay his hand as he slowly slips the buttons free. I inhale when the placket parts to reveal my worn and shabby undergarment beneath. Mended so many times it barely holds my breasts anymore, I’m embarrassed that he’s seeing it.
Even more so by the scars scattered down my chest over the modest slopes. The thin pale lines shine slightly in the low, flickering light. Kai traces them gently.
“You are even more gorgeous than I imagined,” he breathes. I’m astounded, but judging from the worshipful way he stares, he genuinely means it. “I have imagined you like this, and more, so many times. It made me furious with you for a while. I couldn’t understand the spell you cast over me. The Queen envied your hold over me. She couldn’t break it, but she could make me try and drive you away.”
He looks at me with anguish in his one blue eye.
“I’m not that easily scared off, Kai.” I take the opportunity to mold my hands to the shape of his broad shoulders. With the fire at my back, the room is a tolerable temperature. His skin is cool to the touch, like tracing living marble, but when I place my hand over his heart I feel it beating. Warm and alive. “Not even by you.”
“I realize that now.” He strips my shirt away, leaving me in the bodice. I hold his eye as I unfasten it to reveal my breasts. He groans and drops his forehead to my chest, feeling me with both hands, while I toss aside the abused garment. “I’m humbled by it. You deserve silk and lace, like the dress you wore to my banquet.”
“I wasn’t worthy of finery then, and I’m not now. I’m a scullery maid with scars, Kai. I’ll never be anything but a whore in the eyes of the people of Montrace.”
“Never that,” he says to my breasts, sucking the hard bead between his lips. The sensation is of fire and ice, so good but so intense that I squirm. No one has ever touched me like this before. “I would never have permitted that to happen.”
There was never any future for us back in Montrace, even before The Snow Queen. I have no reason not to do this with him tonight. “Make me yours, Kai.”
Two years ago, I never would have agreed to be his mistress. Now, with time running out to solve the fae witch’s puzzle, I can’t bring myself to care about petty things like how other people might judge my actions. After years of separation, I need this connection. I have pursued the man I love all the way to the frozen north, and with little hope of escape, I can’t resist the chance to be with him fully.
“You don’t know what you’re asking of me,” he grits out. His hard length is trapped beneath me. I grind down, not hard, but enough to elicit a low moan from him.
“I do know.”
He grabs my shoulders and gives me a tiny shake, his one eye almost glowing with intensity. “Resisting you is the last shred of honor I can claim, temptress.”
“I don’t want your honor, Prince.” I kiss his lips. “I never did.”
There it is: the truth of my heart. I always wanted him to ruin me. I saw this darkness in him. Chased it. I am not afraid of any part of him, only what the world might do to separate us.
Chapter 17
Kai dragsme down for a furious kiss. I return it a thousandfold, tugging his hair at the roots. Hard muscles and soft hair, his plush lips leading mine, for I have no experience with this beyond what he’s shown me.
Not once has he been gentle with me. He isn’t now.
Kai scoops me up and throws me onto his bed. He yanks off my boots while I fumble with my belt, then strips my trousers almost violently from my body. Naked and shivering, I tug my cloak over me. He tears that out of my hands, too.
“You’re warm enough,” he says. “Any hotter and you’ll combust.”
“It’s barely tolerable in here.”
Still wearing his pants, he covers me. The thick ridge of his cock presses against my thigh. I fling my leg over the back of his, twining around him like a vine. He threads his fingers through my hair.
“Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of touching you like this?”
