This did not change the joy he took in having her on his arm, nor his sense of happiness to see her looking so happy.
“You are in an excellent mood. I hardly expected that.”
“Nor did I,” Elizabeth replied. “It is easily enough explained: I have nothing to fear.”
“And what did you fear before?”
“Mrs. Bennet—but I only feared her because I feared Lord Rochester. And I suppose I only fearedhimbecause my emotions did not yet know that I could simply shoot him. Though Iamextremely grateful to your cousin for stopping me. I will always think of him with kindness for that service.”
“He is a stout fellow. I know he is thought highly of by his superiors and his comrades.”
“I can well imagine. He was in a fierce fettle last night.” Elizabeth giggled. “Shouting at the footmen as whoresons.”
Darcy looked at her askance, and then he could not help but laugh at her expression. “You have a great deal more confidence with Mrs. Bennet.”
“She is not so bad. I think I feared her so much, because the fear I had towards Lord Rochester was placed on her. Perhaps I also gave all of the love I held for my mother to Mr. Bennet. But he earned a great deal of his own affection. I understand my childhood better—Papa always worried that Lord Rochester would find me. That was his first question, ‘didhe hurt me again’. But for me to remain hidden, there should be nothing that created talk about me. Allowing Mrs. Bennet to loudly say that I was the worthless relation who her husband doted upon—nothing notable. No one wouldhearthat. No one would think ‘this is a Lady Elizabeth, being raised in hiding’. Do you see?”
“You forgive him then for not having protected you from Mrs. Bennet better?”
Elizabeth smiled. “I do not think there is anything to forgive. He always chose as best he could. I do not think he realized until quite recently that the way that Mrs. Bennet and I behaved with each other was very different when he was not present. And if he had realized that I dressed to attract as little notice as possible,hisrational fear that I might attract too great attention from the wrong quarter must have made it impossible to oppose that—the chief point is that I belong. I have always belonged here. Mr. Bennet is my real father. My Papa. And I have nothing to fear.”
“And do you also forgive Mrs. Bennet?”
“What a sour expression you have.” Elizabeth laughed. “That ismyprerogative, if I wish to forgive her, I may. I will not deny that there is much to forgive. But...how might I explain?”
They walked together through the lovely spring woods. Thick grasses, mosses upon the trees, a large horned beetle crossed their paths. Birds hopped from tree to tree, gathering everything.
They broke out from the woods and the path now led between two fields.
Elizabeth’s arm was lightly placed on Darcy’s.Sheneeded no support, but she liked it. She liked him very much. What she said this morning came back to him, when she said that she did not wish to be “Lady Elizabeth” to him. She would prefer to be simply “Elizabeth”.
“I refuse to be like Lord Rochester,” Elizabeth said at last. “I shall not rage and hurt another when I feel that ‘my rights’ to have been violated. If I must be ‘Lady Elizabeth’ I shall be a gracious lady who is kind to all. I wish to treat her like howyoualways treat dependents and servants. Those far beneath you. With kindness and courtesy.”
“I do not think,” Darcy said unable to stop an upwelling of amusement, “that Mrs. Bennet would be pleased to be considered as too far beneath you for you to resent her.”
Elizabeth laughed. “It is notmyplace to worry aboutthat. But no, no. You are right. She is as much a gentlewoman as I am. No deep inequality. While I like the way that you are always kind to those far beneath you,Ishall strive to be friendly also to those who are only a little beneath me.”
“I have tried these past months,” Darcy said, “to perform a little more for crowds than was my old habit. You said something to me at Bingley’s ball in November, that I treated the members of this neighborhood the way they treated those they considered beneath them. It did not sit well with me—it is not easy to modify my habits. I wish I could have you near me always so that I might follow your lead.”
She went pink and looked down.
Hartley and Mr. Bennet hurried up from behind them. Mr. Bennet said, “I shall turn back from here. I must write a letter to my solicitor in London, and if I send it by express as soon as I return home, I might be able to have him here tomorrow, if he does not have any truly pressing court business.” He nodded to Hartley. “Thank you, Lord Hartley, for answering all of my questions.”
Mr. Bennet hurried with an even pace down the road that their path had just crossed.
“Now, Bobby, whatever was he asking you?”
Hartley giggled at what Elizabeth said in a way that made the family resemblance to Elizabeth seem clear to Darcy. “No one but my father who calls me that. Oh, yes, also my old nurse when she forgets herself.”
“Bobby, the question.”
Now both Darcy and Hartley laughed at her sweet tone.
“Mr. Bennet wished chiefly to guess at how my father shall react to the events of last night. I could say nothing to quiet his concerns. I do notknow. I assured him however that until such time as you have received your mother’s fortune, and what additional portion you ought to receive as my sister, I will give half of the income I control from my private fortune.”
Elizabeth looked down. It reminded him of her past manner: The quiet and demure dependent who was always grateful.
“It is only proper,” Darcy said quietly.
