He had his usual solemn expression, and there was something about it which Elizabeth thought suggested that he was unsettled, and that on occasion he tightened his jaw and looked fiercely about.
They did not speak at first. Elizabeth had full enjoyment of the time, despite the lack of conversation. Darcy had after all sought her out, and she did not expect him to make a constant effort to entertain her. That she believed her presence to be wanted, and to perhaps even have a calming or otherwise pleasant effect on the gentleman was all that Elizabeth could wish for, being situated as she was.
But when the silence had gone for what seemed to Elizabeth to be a whole five minutes, Elizabeth said with a smile to Mr. Darcy, “I do not believe you are in a wholly comfortable mood.”
This shook Mr. Darcy from his abstraction, and he said in a calm enough tone, “My apologies, Miss Elizabeth. I allowedmy thoughts to possess me, and I have been extremely rude in ignoring you.”
“I just begin to worry that my conversation istolerable enoughbut not entertaining enough to tempt you.”
He looked at her with startlement and laughed. “You have a particular memory ofthat.”
“I have not had the honor of being slighted by gentlemen often,” Elizabeth replied with mock solemnity, “The novelty of such joy fixed it in my mind.”
“You joke, but I hope you were not severely affected.”
Elizabeth smiled at him. “I in fact speak the truth, though in a jesting manner. I was in fact far more amused than hurt—I like to observe characters. I think you are a man who thinks deeply, who feels deeply. I would force you from your meditations formyentertainment.”
The very idea was amusing to Elizabeth.
He smiled in turn. “You speak both of my silence when we met now, as well as my disinterest in dancing on that night.”
“Are not the best statements those that have two meanings?”
“No?” Darcy asked. “I do not think so. Ambiguity can never help clarity of communication.”
“You think the purpose of words is generally to communicate?”
“And what do you think they are for?”
“To allow us to display our cleverness to each other. And to show that we act out the part on life’s stage that has been thrust on us. If we enlighten each other upon any matter of fact, it is generally an accident.”
“That is a cynical view.”
“Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth said smiling widely at him. “But is it a clever sort of cynicism or a dull sort?”
“Which answer would suggest that you are best acting out the role you have chosen for this conversation?”
Elizabeth laughed loudly. She felt rather delighted by how he bantered with her. He looked at her admiringly as she laughed. Then Elizabeth said, “I forget my roles too easily when I speak with you.”
He now frowned again, and they walked on together without speech. Elizabeth wondered if she had offended him. But after a minute Darcy said, “I could not help but notice… it was impossible to not see that the fundamentals of your behavior are wholly different when you are in the presence of Mrs. Bennet. You play a different role on the stage.”
“No, hardly. No… what do you mean? Is that so?” Elizabeth did not like that such a thing was seen.
But then she had alsosaidso much about her own behaviour in the last minutes.
Yet she was still not happy that it was so obvious to Mr. Darcy.
“As soon as Mrs. Bennet entered the drawing room—no the transformation came as soon as the carriage was seen from the window, you changed,” Darcy said by way of explanation. “Before you spoke freely, laughed, and you looked us all in the eye. I believe you were telling Bingley some tale of when Miss Bennet was eleven years of age. Then the Bennet carriage was seen, you went to the window to confirm, and then a frown crossed your face. You lowered your head, shrunk your shoulders, seemed to become smaller. When Bingley asked you to finish the story, you said a little, but there was no animation, none of that pretty gleam in your eye. The arch amusement was gone. As soon as Mrs. Bennet enters a room, you eagerly nod your head, you agree with all that she says, except in cases where your intrinsic honesty demands you say nothing—for directly contradicting her decided opinion is something you will not do,and suddenly you will meet no one’s eye. When she asks for a service, whether it be running to the carriage, or attending upon a daughter whose health is perfectly safe, you instantly reply, ‘Yes madam,’ and bow, as though she were worthy of every respect, and do her bidding.”
This long speech had a strong effect upon Elizabeth. The fact was that had their stations not been so different she would have been half certain that he was in love with her after such a speech. But Darcy’s seriousness, his concern, and his upright manner made it impossible for Elizabeth to think that there could be anything to Mr. Bennet’s worries.
“I confess that I am at times reserved. I do not forget my role in every company. But I will say this in objection: As my benefactress, Mrs. Bennet is worthy of every expression of gratitude.”
“It would be better if you forgot your place more often.”
“Oh, no! That would be to show ingratitude. There is nothing despised so much as ingratitude.”
“It is not gratitude that drives you. Your behaviour around Mrs. Bennet shows fear.”
