“What, was I just supposed to traipse to Kansas City with you?”
“No, did I say that?”
Danessa removed herself from my lap, sinking into the chair next to me. “I mean yeah, actually, you said it all the fucking time. You started every sentence with ‘When we get to KC,’ If you’re mad, say so you know I hate apathetic bullshit.”
It was less about being mad and more about being confused. She never gave me a real reason why she wanted to go our separate ways. Danessa claimed she needed space and time to think but, in the months leading up to the breakup we were making significant plans for our future. “If I said all the things I wanted to, you’d leave with your feelings hurt.”
“There it is. I thought it would take longer to rear its ugly head but you always surprise me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Grudges, you’ve been holding on to this dry ass bone for years and now you’re gonna make sure we’re even.”
“I’m not fucking holding grudges. You blindsided me, I was hurt. Don’t fucking try to act like … don’t fucking do this.”
“I did what was best for me and I’m not going to apologize for that.”
My hand swept across the open space. “This is what was best for you?”
“Wow, one minute you’re telling me I have a great life I should be proud of, and the next minute you’re shitting on it.”
“I’m not. But don’t pretend you didn’t choose a two-bedroom condo over a life with me.”
“You offered me a life youthoughtI deserved, not the one I wanted.”
“So being with me … eventually becoming my wife was something you didn’t want?”
“It’s difficult to explain because if a man wants to take care of you, most women would let him. But that shit comes with strings. And people never read the fine print. Sure, you drive a fancy car and live in a beautiful house, but none of that shit is in your name. So your boyfriend or husband can take it all away at any moment.”
“You’re talking about other people’s lives, not ours.”
“It’s always someone else’s life until eventually it’s you. Famous athletes behave like they can do anything; I’ve seen it firsthand with the men my mother dealt with. And I didn’t want to hold my breath waiting for a call or social media post about you behaving badly with another woman.”
“Danessa, I don’t even fucking move like that.”
“That’s what they all say and then slowly over time things shift. I’m sure Colin Pratt’s wife didn’t sign up to be embarrassedevery seven to ten business days. Did you know a woman just came forward claiming he’s the father of her unborn child?”
“So, you ended us over what ifs? Because others tried and failed, you decided to cut your losses. Do you hear how dumb that sounds?”
“No, it was more about the fact that we weren’t traveling in the same direction.”
“And we are now?”
“Somehow our paths crossed after all these years.”
“Maybe the reason our paths crossed is to teach me a lesson I still haven’t learned.”
“Whoa, fuck you.” When Danessa was angry, she could be hardcore. It was learned behavior from her mother. They rarely had a conversation that didn’t dissolve into a shouting match. “Because us not working out was all my fault? You played your part too.”
“How so?”
“You didn’t listen. You said you were blindsided but there were signs. I got accepted to a bunch of top law schools. Chicago, California, Texas. And when I told you I was also accepted into the law program at the University of Missouri, it was like that school was my only viable option. It was always Missouri this and Missouri that. You were so excited, and I didn’t want to ruin it for you.”
“So instead of talking to me about your doubts, you decided to end it and leave me to wonder why all these years? I would be a fool if I didn’t entertain the possibility of you ultimately hurting me all over again.” Shit, Nori was right. What the fuck was I doing?
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I’m not saying leaving me was wrong. I just wish you’d given me the opportunity to make it right.”
