“I didn’t mean simple, I meant rare, unique, one of one. Like no one I’ve ever met and I’ve met a shit ton of people. Take the fucking compliment.”
“Okay, thank you. Are we ready to move on?”
“Yeah.”
Back in the truck, we drove for a few minutes to MetCalf Park. It was lush and green, with walking trails and ponds. I’d racked up hundreds of hours at the park on a lazy weekend eating homemade PB&J sandwiches with Doritos stuffed in between just people watching while Fancy wrote songs.
I pointed to the massive jungle gym and Fancy offered an enthusiastic nod. She lowered herself into one of the swings and I settled in beside her. The night was clear and the sky was like a map with limitless possibilities. I thought about Fancy in some shape or fashion every single day since she left. Usually itwasn’t obvious, just a whisper of a memory from our childhood. Swimming at the lake, skinned knees, and timeouts to catch our breath. She’d been part of my life for so long it was hard to find a memory she wasn’t a part of.
“I had my first kiss in this park,” she said, lazily swinging back and forth.
“With who?”
Her eyes grew wide. “With you.”
“Me?”
“You don’t remember our first kiss?”
“I remember kissing you, but it wasn’tmyfirst kiss.”
“Wait a second, we were twelve. Who else were you kissing?”
“Ma’am sometimes my business ain’t your business.”
“I thought I was your first.”
“Just because you weren’t my first doesn’t mean it was any less special.”
“I was so nervous. And you were looking at me funny. My palms were sweaty, kind of like they are right now.”
“I remember thinking you were going to push me away and say ‘Eww Edison, gross.’ But you never did.”
“I leaned into it.”
“You leaned all the way into it, even slipped in a little tongue.”
“I just figured if you’re going to kiss, you should make it a good one.”
“It was a good one. Best kiss I ever had.”
Fancy rolled her eyes. “I seriously doubt that.”
“No it was because it was sweet, and there were no expectations for anything more. The kiss, our kiss wasn’t building up to a bigger moment … it was the moment.”
The swing she was gliding on came to a stop and Francesca examined my features. All night her eyes were acutely affixed to my face as if she was looking for deeper meaning or a sign. “Iremember thinking after, so that’s what the love songs are all talking about.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “Life was so simple back then. Hanging out in the park, feeding the ducks, catching fireflies. When puberty hit, all that shit changed. The boys were now young men and they had mischief in their eyes. When did it all get so complicated?”
“When you’re younger, you can’t wait to be grown. I remember thinking in high school once I graduate can’t nobody tell me what to do. But the joke was on us because adulthood comes with responsibilities and expectations, and you can’t blame your fuck ups on youth. I spend more time worrying about the farm, the shop, and my parents then anything else. Still, it doesn’t have to be … complicated. I mean some things you can’t avoid. We all have choices, and some choices lead to more treacherous paths.”
“Do you regret staying in Hume?”
“No, I’ve never regretted that.” When Fancy and Darla decided to leave Hume for California, they asked me to come with them. We were best friends, practically inseparable. They said I could be their stage manager, and we’d get a place and be roomies. But California was never my dream, so I passed. “Do you regret leaving?”
“No, I can’t say that I do.”
And that’s where we stood. I wanted to milk my goats and sell eggs at the farmers’ market, and she wanted to perform on stage and travel the world. In so many ways she and I were similar. We loved the tranquility of country living, our families were paramount to us. Trust if her parents or Ozzie needed her, it didn’t matter where she was in the world, she’d make the trek back home to support them. Despite that, when it mattered the most, our views on life were starkly different. All I needed was the love of a good woman and maybe a dog and Fancy … well shewanted shit I couldn’t provide. But I was willing to pretend none of that existed if she was.
Taking a deep breath I surveyed the sky. You’d think I’d be able to identify the consolations for all the nights I stood in the yard with my head upward. The world was vast, but at the end of the day we all looked to the same stars with hope. I found the biggest star in the sky and made a wish. People claimed you could only wish on shooting stars, but that was bullshit. The luminaries were magical and filled with inspiration. After casting my deepest desire to the heavens, I spoke it into existence. “Would you like to come back to my place?” I asked.
