The boy nodded, trying not to look relieved. "I'll work on it on my own some more," he croaked, miserable with the knowledge that he probably wouldn't be able to read through an entire paragraph on his own without going over and over it and over it again and again till the words made separate and distinct sense, but even so, refused to hold together in any meaningful, coherent way.
"Write down your thoughts tonight, and we'll work on the second half tomorrow." He should at least get partial credit for showing he'd thought about the story. Tomas smiled at him and closed the textbook, then they both headed over to say hello to Justin. Tomas shoved his hands in his pockets. He felt like he was wading through a sea of teenagers.
Justin looked up and met Tomas's gaze over theirs, and his smile lessened. He didn't say anything, but after he'd greeted and talked to all of his kids, he spoke to Tomas in a low voice and asked what was up. Tomas explained about bringing another kid for the night, and Justin stared at him steadily, watching in that judgmental way he sometimes did.
"Then I stayed and helped with homework," he finished, and Justin gave him a curt nod, as if he was dismissed. Damn, what kind of man got jealous over homework? The guy still had some work to do.
"Well, if that's all..." Justin raised a brow pointedly.
Tomas wanted to say something cutting and cold. Something like,You're a real class act.You're nice to me if Riley's watching, but you're a hateful turd if he isn't. That wouldn't have sounded very mature to say aloud, and it would have been bound to upset some of the kids — most of whom looked up to him and would have been agonized if they felt they had to choose between their loyalty to their adored dad and the quiet "uncle" who helped with homework and listened when they wanted to talk.
Instead, Tomas nodded tightly and headed out into the cold to his car. It hurt, because he hadn't been trying to usurp anything at all. He'd only wanted to help. There was an indignity to leaving this way that even another ten minutes' wait wouldn't have engendered. Then he could at least have said goodbye to Riley and asked how the new kid was settling in.
Instead he drove home, silently cursing the pushy jerk his partner had married. Couldn't the guy get it out of his head? Tomas didn't want to steal Riley from him, or their kids, or anything at all.
Justin could be so mean. But not to anybody he loved, so there was that, at least. He turned his fierce nature only on people who weren't his husband or his kids. Tomas tried once again to make peace with that, but it hurt every time he was reminded he was out in the cold, and Justin would never more than superficially accept him.
#
It was no good stayingaway from the diner; that would have only punishedhim. The women who'd been gossiping about him — well, he didn't have to interact with them much, but if he did, staying away from the diner wouldn't solve that. They still worked at the precinct.
They'd seemed embarrassed that he'd heard their frank talk, but he was at least as embarrassed. Hopefully, they'd never know that. Most of the time, people couldn't easily tell he was blushing unless it got really bad. And he'd learned to play cool about most things, most of the time. It fooled a lot of people.
Today, the cute waiter gave him a quizzical look as he ordered soup. Tomas smoothed out his paper napkin, avoiding eye contact.
"Cup or bowl?" the waiter asked after another long pause.
"Oh. Bowl, I guess."
The cute guy went away. Tomas wondered what his name was — and then why he even bothered wondering. If the guy was gay and interested, it wouldn't go anywhere. It never did, because Tomas didn't want to have sex, and a relationship without sex didn't interest most people.
Maybe he could learn to care more about it. But he knew himself well enough to realize that even if he could make sex an integral part of whatever relationship he pursued in the future (assuming that ever happened), it was never going to be the important part for him — not evenanimportant part, whereas to most people, that was the purpose of a relationship: red-hot passion, dirty moves and sweaty nakedness, bodies in bed exploring each other with a passion Tomas simply couldn't muster. The other stuff — sharing a life together and the quiet warmth of worn blankets and late breakfasts and sleepy late-night movies, foot rubs and spooning and bickering gently about whether or not to attend the Harvest Festival this year — most people didn't want to skip right to those things. And some people didn't want them at all.
He ate his soup glumly, wishing Riley were here so he would feel less alone. But Riley was right to cherish his lunchtimes with his husband. They needed time alone to talk. They'd quickly learned how precious and rare alone time was for parents.
"Do you want a refill?" The waiter intruded on his gloomy thoughts as he gestured to Tomas's coffee cup.
Tomas shook his head and managed a smile. "Thanks, no. I'm good."
"You are." The waiter looked at him wistfully. "Thank you for yesterday. I mean it. I could've — well, thank you." He turned quickly and hurried away, as if he felt too awkward to say another word. Gone was the knowing look of yesterday — today, he seemed more fluttery and flustered than normal.
That didn't make Tomas feel weird or put his guard up the way it normally would — possibly because this was about as far from a sexual situation as was possible, and it would never be anything else while the guy was on the job and Tomas was eating soup.
It was kind of nice to be someone's hero, even in a tiny way, for a few moments. And the guy had saved him, too. He tried to remember the waiter's name but came up with a blank. The nametags were all so smudged here, and he didn't like to stare and squint at people's chests or ask.
When he got back from lunch, Riley was waiting — and almost visibly vibrating in his skin. "Where were you?" he whispered intensely. "The fox talked to me again.Again!" He squeezed his eyes shut as if he was in pain. "No — Cody talked to me. Cody," he reminded himself. "Not 'the fox.' That's rude."
On the rudeness scale — anyone but Riley's — it would barely register. But Riley wasn't just anybody. Gone was the confident father of last night. He was again a nervous wolf who needed to be protected from the world.
"What did he say?"
"He asked how you were. Said he saw you last night, and you didn't seem very happy. Weren't you, Tomas? You seemed upset when I saw you, but I thought it was about Asher. He's okay now. Is that what you were upset about?" He studied Tomas's face worriedly. Always so concerned about everybody else.
"I've been in a bit of a funk lately, but there's nothing to worry about, okay? Tell me about Asher. You can't just say 'he's okay now' and leave it at that." From anyone else, it would be the height of arrogance to think he could fix someone else's problems that quickly. From Riley, he wasn't exactly sure. But he still wanted to know more. They hadn't had much time to talk this morning; too much work to be done.
Riley settled himself down, folding his hands in front of him. "Well, we talked."
"I figured." They'd been gone a long time last night. Otherwise, that rude dismissal from Justin would never have happened.
