Focus on the here and now. Do your job, idiot.
Sunny concentrated on getting the girls dressed, fed and settled with their morning cartoons. She moved through the familiar routine on auto-pilot, keeping up a chipper patter of small talk and reassurances to distract from the turbulence simmering beneath her breastbone.
She didn’t see Liam again until just before lunch, when his broad-shouldered figure filled the archway to the kitchen. Sunny couldn’t prevent the small jolt of electricity that zinged through her at the sight of him, even as his remorseful expression reminded her of the distance they needed to keep.
“I need to go run some errands,” Liam stated gruffly, not quite meeting her eyes as he raked a hand through his already tousled hair.
Sunny tamped down an irrational flare of hurt at his brusque manner, reminding herself that this was for the best.
“Of course, I’ve got everything under control here,” she replied with forced lightness, dredging up a pale imitation of her normally vibrant smile.
A curt nod was all the acknowledgment Liam could muster as he turned on his heel, disappearing out the front door without a backwards glance. Sunny tried not to read too much into his hasty exit, reminding herself that he was clearly just as thrown over their lapse as she was.
She threw herself into amusing the rambunctious girls, grateful for their ready laughter and zest for life as a balm against the morose fog attempting to cloud her mind.
When evening rolled around, Sunny put on an overly cheerful facade as she prepared the girls’ favorite food, hoping to project a sense of normalcy.
It faltered a little when Maddie piped up.
“Where’s Daddy?”
A small wrinkle of concern creased her forehead as she glanced around the empty kitchen.
“He just had a few grown-up things to do, that’s all,” Sunny replied with a too-bright smile as she set their plates down. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
Hailey’s little rosebud mouth turned down in a pout as the minutes ticked by with no sign of their father returning.
“But Daddy never misses dinner,” she sniffed, pushing her peas around her plate listlessly.
Swallowing hard, Sunny tried to project a soothing air even as her own concern blossomed. It wasn’t like Liam to be inconsiderateabout punctuality when it came to his kids’ schedules, gruff as he was. Could he really be avoiding returning home out of remorse over their indiscretion? What other explanation was there?
Just as she was about to cave in and phone him, the rattle of keys in the front door broke the silence. Liam slouched through seconds later, his shoulders hunched and expression bleak as he took in the two little girls eyeing him accusingly.
What have I done?Pondered Sunny as she took in the morose look on every face around her, big and small.
What the hell have I done?
Sunny
Sunny stared out the window of her bedroom, watching the remaining evening light cast long shadows across the Anderson estate’s manicured lawn. Her heart felt heavy, torn between the growing warmth she felt for Liam and the guilt that gnawed at her conscience for disrupting the calm of the house. She had crossed a line last night, one that she never thought she’d step over as a professional nanny.
She replayed the events in her mind: the tender moment of comforting Liam as he grieved for his late wife, the unexpected passion of their kiss, and then… Sunny’s cheeks flushed at the memory. It had been electric, a release of pent-up emotions and desires. But in the fading light of evening, all she could think about was Maddie and Hailey, the two innocent girls who had already lost so much. She recalled their lost looks this evening when Liam hadn’t returned for dinner. Then the confusion and awkwardness when he finally made it through the door.
“I can’t risk hurting them any more,” Sunny whispered to herself, her voice catching.
She had to leave, she reasoned for what seemed the millionth time. It was the only responsible thing to do. She couldn’t risk becoming another source of upheaval in their young lives. Yet, the thought of walking away from the girls made her heart lurch.
In the time she’d been with the Andersons, Maddie and Hailey hadburrowed their way into her heart. Their resilience in the face of grief, their giggles during movie nights, the way they looked to her for comfort after nightmares. Leaving them felt like abandoning her own family.
Sunny’s eyes welled up with tears. She knew what it was like to feel abandoned. Her years in the foster care system had left scars that still stung. She couldn’t inflict that pain on Maddie and Hailey. They had already lost their mother; they didn’t need to lose their nanny too, especially not because of a moment of weakness between her and their father. That action had nothing to do with them.
With a deep breath, Sunny made her final decision. She would stay. For the girls. But she had to talk to Liam. They needed to set boundaries to ensure that last night’s indiscretion didn’t happen again. She had to be strong, to resist the pull she felt towards him. It wouldn’t be easy, not with his brooding good looks and the unexpected tenderness he sometimes showed. But for Maddie and Hailey, she would do it.
As if on cue, a soft knock on her door jolted Sunny from her thoughts. She opened it to find Liam standing there, his usually confident demeanor replaced by uncertainty. Their eyes met and, for a moment, neither spoke. The weight of their shared secret hung between them.
“Liam, I…” Sunny began.
But he held up a hand.
