Georgie put her hand over her mouth, wondering whether or not the best approach would be to mention the mess.
She looked at Poppy, who was standing on the other side of the table basically glaring at her, and decided that a messy kitchen was the least of her worries.
‘I’m so sorry, Poppy,’ she began. ‘I know that the second I suspected that Declan was the person from that New Year’s Eve, and therefore Max’s father, I should have told you. I was always going to tell you, obviously, if it was true, but I didn’t want to say anything if it wasn’t.’
‘If it hadn’t been for Max, would you have told me?’
‘Um. I don’t know. I’ve never thought about that because it’s always been about Max.’
‘Oh, yes, I see.’
‘Why?’ Georgie asked. ‘Are you wondering whether Declan would or should have told you, given that he wasn’t certain about Max?’ This rift between Poppy and Declan wasawful.
‘Yep.’ Poppy looked at her for a long moment through her red-rimmed eyes and then said, ‘What doyouthink Declan should have done?’
Oh God. What a terrible question to have to answer. The responsibility. Georgie was going to have to reply and she was going to have to choose her words extremely carefully.
‘I have never been in a serious relationship, as you know,’ she began. ‘I’m really sure that Declan would never have wantedto hurt you and that I suppose he would want to weigh up what would be best for you.’
‘And what do you think would have been best for me? If Max hadn’t been involved?’
‘I…’ Shit. This was so difficult to answer. ‘Obviously everyone’s different and has different views, but I feel that Declan having had an anonymous, utterly meaningless shag under a bush nine years before he met you should have no bearing on your relationship with him, even if the person he shagged is someone you know. Because it was so, so far before he met you.’
‘And so you’re saying that he should have told me immediately because I wouldn’t have minded?’ Oh fuck.DidGeorgie mean that?
‘I… I don’t know. He wouldn’t have wanted to upset you. Or hurt your feelings.’
Poppy said nothing and just looked at Georgie with raised eyebrows.
‘I just don’t know.’ Georgie spread her hands. ‘He wouldn’t have wanted to hurt you, but then maybe he would have thought you would want to know.’
‘I’ll tell you one thing I’m pretty sure he would have known, and you would too if you’d thought about it. You would both have known that I wouldn’t want to be lied to. Lies and secrets between spouses and best friends are toxic. And Declan did lie to me. He should have told me immediately that he suspected and then just asked you.’
‘I’m so, so sorry, Poppy. I should have done too. I think we were both just panicking because it seemed so huge.’
‘You want to know another reason that I think Declan might have been panicking?’
‘Mmm?’ Georgie very much did not want to know – this was one of the worst conversations she’d ever had – but if Poppy needed to talk she needed to listen.
‘Because.’ Somewhere in the last minute or two Poppy had started crying. She gave a big, honking sniff and wiped her face with the backs of her hands. ‘Because when he metyou– and yes I accept that you weren’t actuallyyou, you were just a random stranger in a witch’s costume – he shagged you right then and there. But when he metme, we waited two months even though we immediately started spending a lot of time together, and we waited becausehewanted to.’ Her voice rose into a wail as she choked out the words, ‘And that hurts.’
‘Oh, Poppy.’ Georgie moved round the table to try to put her arms round her friend, but Poppy moved out of her way. It was heart-breaking seeing her like this. ‘Poppy, I’m sure that must have been because he wanted things to be special with you. Different. He had no interest in getting to know the girl dressed as a witch on New Year’s Eve. That must be why.’
Poppy sat down. ‘He also went behind my back and found my friend Anya’s details and met up with her and lied about that when I heard her with him. I can’t trust him.’
‘Oh, no, Poppy youcan.’
‘Really, Georgie? Really? Do you know my relationship with my husband better than I do?’
‘I… No, no, of course I don’t. But the facts…’
‘The facts are that he didn’t want to sleep with me as much as he wanted to sleep with a random stranger, and that he lied to me.’
‘Could you maybe talk to him about this, though?’
‘No. I can’t.’ Poppy’s voice was wobbling into tears. ‘It hurts too much. And I haven’t slept properly for a really long time and I’ve been finding things difficult since Daniel was born, andsometimes I’m okay and sometimes I’m not and now I don’t think I have the strength to talk to Declan.’
The baby monitor in the corner of the room started vibrating and then Daniel started to yell.
