Her mum took what felt likeminutesto decide between a macchiato light and a cappuccino light – wasn’t she supposed to be pushed for time? – while Lily struggled not to tap her foot. Or just yell, ‘Hurry up.’
When she’d finally decided that she was going macchiato, her mum thanked the waiter, turned back to the table and said, ‘So what do you do, Matt?’
‘Mum, I have something to say.’ The words had just burst out of Lily. ‘Ihatethe way you mollycoddle me and make my supposed weaknesses define me. It ruined my childhood and, if I hadn’t made a big effort to move away from all that, it would have ruined my adulthood too. I’m not pathetic. I’m no more vulnerable than the next person. I’m an averagely strong woman with asthma, which is under control.’
On the wordhate, her mother had jerked back like she’d been slapped. She now placed her phone with great care on the table, but didn’t speak.
Lily was shaking a bit now she’d stopped talking. Matt took her hand.
‘I was just worried about you,’ her mum said eventually.
‘Disproportionately so, I think,’ Lily said.
‘Tragedies do occur in relation to adults with currently well-managed asthma but a prior history of severe asthma.’
‘I’m very sensible. I take my blue inhaler everywhere.’ Lily reached down and produced an inhaler from her bag. ‘Like this. And I recognise the early signs of a breathing episode. And life is for living.’
During the lengthy silence that followed, Lily fiddled with the tablecloth and Matt continued to hold her hand tightly. Thank goodness he was here.
After what felt like an extremely long time, her mum said, ‘I’m sorry. I had the best of intentions. And I believe that how I cared for you was necessary for your well-being.’
Lily just looked at her, suddenly completely out of energy to carry on trying to get through to her. Honestly. This had all been pointless.
Matt cleared his throat into the silence. ‘I hope neither of you mind me saying that as a third party I can see how very hard it must have been for both of you. Maybe everyone was doing their best given the situation and maybe sometimes people’s bests aren’t perfect.’
Lily’s mum pursed her lips together and then her phone rang. ‘I have to get this,’ she said. She picked it up. And then she declined the call. ‘It can wait five minutes.’ She took a breath. ‘Maybe I’ve always been too busy at work. You were so ill so often and your grandmother had to look after you. I felt guilty.’
‘Maybe you were over-compensating,’ Lily said.
‘Maybe I was.’ Her mum’s phone rang again. ‘Look, I have to go, but maybe we can have dinner soon? Perhaps the three of us with your father?’
‘I’d like that.’ Lily smiled at her.
‘It was good to meet you, Matt.’ Her mother shook Matt’s hand again and click-clacked out of the café in the power heels she always wore.
‘I kind of think that went as well as it could have done. Thank you so much for talking me into it. I think that from my side my relationship with my mother will hopefully improve now.’ Lily looked down at their linked fingers and squeezed Matt’s hand. ‘And thank you so much for coming as well. It was alotbetter with you here.’
‘No problem. I’m glad you feel better. Sometimes things just need to be said. Want to go for a walk?’
They strolled along the South Bank until they got to Waterloo Bridge, talking about the architecture and the history of the area.
‘Thank you again,’ Lily said to Matt as they walked up onto the bridge.
‘No, thankyou. I always love a captive audience for my nerdy architect facts.’ He pulled her into a hug and kissed her before letting her go and taking her hand to draw her further along the bridge. ‘This is my favourite urban view anywhere in the world. St Paul’s. The Oxo Tower. Both banks. The meeting of old and new architecture. The London Eye. The only city view better than this is being here at night.’
Lily nodded and looked around. It was a good view. Not as good a view as Matt though, the way he was smiling at her.
‘What?’ she said. She had goosebumps again. That look in his eye.
‘So I have something to show you on my phone,’ he said.
‘Okay.’
He leaned against the wall of the bridge and did some swiping, and pointed to his screen.
Lily peered at it. ‘That’s a… spreadsheet?’
‘Yup. Dates along here, your schedule here and then my new schedule.’ He looked at her.
