It was so nice that Matt wanted to go to the cinema with her next week.
Lily was still smiling about the loveliness of feeling like they were going to be doing stuff together again – and, if she was honest, the fact that they were going with her film choice because Matt’s choices both looked rubbish – when she realised that they’d already taken off and she hadn’t even started her usual near-nervous-breakdown routine surrounding the fact that apparently, due to maths and physics, take-off and landing were more dangerous than actually being up in the air.
‘We’re up!’ she said.
‘Yeah, I know. What kind of meal do you think they’re going to be bringing us? Proper dinner or just a snack? I’m really hungry.’ Matt looked up from where he’d been trying to navigate the film screen. ‘Ishouldhave asked if you’re okay before thinking about my stomach. Are you?’
Lily laughed. ‘Yep. I actually am. Thank you.’ So nice that he wasn’t treating her with kid gloves.
The rest of the journey home was amazing. Lily loved craning her neck to see the screen. She loved eating the crap airline food. She loved drinking the airline cheap white wine that tasted of Marmite. She loved the long wait at the luggage carousel and the extreme queue to get out of the airport. Basically, obviously, she loved Matt and she loved being with him. Would she fancy a bit of poop scooping or public loo cleaning, or even taking a flight in a tiny plane? Yes, she really would if she could do any of it with Matt.
‘Share a taxi?’ he asked when they werefinally, just after midnight, done with the airport queuing.
‘You don’t know where I live.’ Funny how when they’d been in Greece they’d talked about big stuff and small stuff but not really the medium stuff, their everyday lives, atall. ‘And I don’t know whether you’ve moved?’
‘Still in the same flat.’ Matt lived in leafy Muswell Hill in a flat that he’d bought at a discount because no one else could see past the awful state it had been in. He’d worked some architect’s magic on it and had turned it into a stunning haven.
‘I live quite close to Heathrow, actually. I’m saving up to finally buy somewhere and my rent’s nice and low due to theextremeaeroplane noise. You’re welcome to come back to the flat?’
‘I have an early start in the morning.’
Lily felt her face fall.
‘No, no, no. What I meant by that was I’m going to have to get up really early. I didnotmean that I didn’t want to come. Ireallywant to come. If that’s okay?’
Lily was smiling again. ‘It’s very okay.’
They were already kissing as they barrelled through the front door, straight to the sofa in Lily’s open-plan living room.
‘Let me get us some drinks.’ She pulled away from him and stood up. Now that they were back home, things suddenly felt more serious. ‘I feel like we still need to talk. Coffee? Tea? Water?’
She feltreallyself-conscious as she got their teas. Like Matt was clearly going to be looking around the room while she had her back to him, and like everything between them felt bizarrely more personal now that they weren’t on neutral territory any more.
‘Thank you,’ he said when she handed him his cup of builder’s. ‘You’ve made this room lovely. All your pictures and cushions.’
‘Thank you. I’mreallylooking forward now to buying my own place and being able to do it up myself. Nearly there. Anyway.’
‘Yep, sorry. I wasn’t trying to change the subject.’
Lily sat down at the other end of the sofa and said, ‘I really do feel like we still need to talk except I’m not even sure what there is to discuss. It’s like there was a big barrier between us, from both sides, and it’s gone. And I don’t know what else to say.’
‘Maybe sometimes there just isn’t that much to say?’
‘Even when the issue was huge?’
‘Maybe.’
Lily yawned. ‘I think I’m too tired to think.’ She moved along the sofa and leaned into Matt. ‘Mmm, that’snice.’
Gaaah. Lily groped with her hand for her phone. It couldn’t actuallybethe morning, surely. She must have made a mistake when she set it. She found the phone and banged it a few times. The alarm wasn’t bloody going off. Actually, the sound wasn’t coming from there.
‘Matt.’ She gave him a little nudge in the ribs. ‘Your alarm’s going off.’
‘Mmph.’ He flailed with an arm and the sound stopped, thank the Lord.
It had been like this at the beginning the last time they started going out. Far too little sleep.The last time. Like they’d definitely started going out again. It really did feel like they had. Lily gave an actual physical squirm of pleasure.
Matt put his arm round her and buried his face against her. ‘Want to stay here all day,’ he mumbled.
