‘I know. I was wondering the whole time if I shouldsaysomething about the fact that she was basically sexually harassing you. I mean, if a man stroked a woman like that there’d be an uproar and rightly so.’
‘That’s actually a very good point and thank you for nearly saying something. Although I’m big and ugly enough to look after myself and I was also thinking of saying something, or at least moving away from her, except I didn’t want to offend her because of the wedding venue issue and the shower.’
‘Andthatis exactly how people, mainly women but obviously men too, have been taken advantage of since time immemorial,’ said Lily. ‘Being scared to offend people. Next thing she’ll be asking you to sleep with her if we want to use her house for the venue.’
‘Yeah, that would be a step too far, even to save my cousin’s wedding.’
‘Yeah, I think so.’ Lily smiled at him and his gaze shifted to her lips and he visibly swallowed, and Lily found herself swallowing too. ‘So we should have our showers now,’ she said, after a pause. Shower. The last time they’d been properly alone together, the day they’d split up, they’d spent the morning having the most amazing sex and they’d showered together, and it had been fantastic. Imagine if they were to get into the shower together now, strip each other’s mud-caked clothing off, wash the mud off each other…
‘Lily?’
‘Sorry, yes?’
‘I said why don’t you go first? If Penelope comes back in while I’m waiting, I’ll be brave and hold her off.’
‘Ha, yes, great, okay, then. Thanks.’ Lily’s voice was sounding fartoo high-pitched. She hurried into the bathroom, blinked at the peach-ness of it – the sanitaryware was peach, the tiles were peach, the mirror surround was peach – and closed and locked the door behind herself and went over to the basin. Woah. She lookedatrocious.
She pulled all her clothes off and left them in the peach-coloured, shell-shaped bidet next to the shower, took her inhaler out of her hoodie pocket and did a couple of puffs – humidity always made her chest a bit tight – and stepped into the shower.
And now, as the water ran over her body, she was thinking about that last shower with Matt again. And about their split, which had been one of the saddest things that had ever happened to her. It had felt right, though. Matt had clearly just wanted,needed, an open, heart-wearing-on-sleeve girlfriend, and Lily couldn’t be the person he needed. As evidenced by the fact that he’d leapt straight into marriage with someone else. Better to have split up then than to have made each other thoroughly miserable and split further down the line.
And all of a sudden she wasn’t thinking about sharing a shower with Matt any more, she was just feeling miserable and deflated. She picked up the shower gel. Best to stop thinking and get on with washing all the mud off.
Her skin was still tingling from the very hot water and the extreme scrubbing she’d had to do, when there was a knock on the bathroom door. Now she was tingling for another reason. She was very naked and Matt was just on the other side of the door.
She wrapped a large, fluffy white towel securely around herself and called, ‘Yes?’
‘Penelope brought clothes for both of us while you were in the shower,’ Matt said from the other side of the door. ‘I’ll just put them on the floor here for you and you can reach round for them. I’ll turn my back.’
‘Great.’ Her voice was too high-pitched again.
‘Oh mygoodness,’ she said when she’d retrieved the clothes. They were very… Penelope.
‘Yeah,’ Matt said from the other side of the door.
Lily got herself dressed as fast as she could, because time was clearly of the essence, but couldn’t resist taking a couple of seconds to check herself out in the bathroom mirror.
Well. When you’d been fantasising about the last time you’d had sex with your gorgeous ex-boyfriend, maybe it was good to be reminded that right now, from the feet up, you had: a big bruise on one shin from somewhere on your mud-walk; some scratches on the other shin; battered knees; a very frilly and very floral, slightly too small, mini twinset; slightly greyish arms and face but non-grey chest because you’d been wearing a crew neck t-shirt when you rolled in mud; and wet hair and no make-up apart from some very smudged mascara. The exact opposite of God’s gift to anyone who had an eye for an attractive woman.
This was arguably up there with the Rod Stewart haircut. None of this was how she would have chosen to look in front of Matt.
She was just going to have to style it out.
She opened the bathroom door, spread her arms wide and said, ‘Ta-dah.’
Matt looked at her, clamped his lips hard together and said something that sounded likeErmumph.
‘You think this is funny,’ Lily said, ‘you should see the bikini I’m wearing underneath. It’sexactlythe kind of bikini the owner of a phallic water feature would have. Quite obscene. Also quite uncomfortable.’
Matt stopped with the lip clamping and laughed out loud.
‘I’m just looking forward to seeing you in the gardener’s clothes,’ Lily said. ‘Since you’re toobigfor Howard’s.’
‘You’re going to be disappointed,’ Matt said. ‘They’re just regular clothes. T-shirt and shorts.’
‘Dammit. What swimwear do you have?’
‘Not so great. Some very snug-looking speedos. But fortunately no one will be able to see those. Right. I’m looking forward to this shower.’
