No. She feltterribleright now and she didn’t feel like just being normal and chirpy on the phone, but she couldn’t tell him; he wouldn’t understand. And that was the beauty of being with someone like him, in fact. He and his entire life experience were completely safe and sensible and unchaotic.
After a good couple of hours of watching crap TV that didn’t take her mind off the situation, Evie went and knocked on her mum’s bedroom door. There was no answer.
Right.
She sent her mum a text telling her she loved her and went to bed for an early night.
Evie was dragged out of a very deep sleep the next morning by strange, muffled music. Where was she? Gaaah, why was there a wall in herface? Oh, okay, she was at her mum’s, in her bedroom there, her bed against the wall. And that noise had to be Autumn watching TV. Or probably some YouTube channel.
She squinted at the clock on the wall. Three twenty. What? Oh, it had stopped. It probably needed a new battery.
And then she remembered. Last night. She’d said those terrible things to her mum. And she hadn’t been able to get to sleep for ages but then she’d actually slept very deeply, which felt like something to be ashamed of. What if her mum had been tossing and turning all night, really hurt?
She rolled over and looked at her phone. Eight twenty-five, not three twenty. Okay, she was going to go and apologise.
She hauled herself out of bed, wrapped herself in the dressing gown that lived on the back of her bedroom door, and went downstairs to the kitchen.
‘Morning.’ Her mum was dressed in black Lycra and no make-up and had her hair up in a high ponytail. ‘Hope you slept well. I was waiting for you to wake up to keep an eye on Autumn so that I can go for a run.’
‘You what?’ Evie gaped. The last time she could remember her mum going for a run was a New Year’s Day when Evie was at uni and her mum’s man of the moment had been a fitness fanatic. Her mum had dumped him after their second run because, she’d said, their lifestyles were incompatible, and had taken her running kit to Oxfam in Cirencester to celebrate. She’d obviously bought some new running kit in the past decade. Or maybe not. Evie took a closer look. ‘Are those leggings mine?’
‘Yep. And the top. I got them out of your bedroom before you went to bed last night. I love you, Evie. I had a good long think yesterday evening. I’m so sorry for everything. I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m going to respect my daughters and myself. I don’t need a man and I do need to go running.’
Evie stepped forward and held her arms out to her mum and they had a big, long hug, which might have involved a few tears on Evie’s part.
When she’d dried her eyes, she said, ‘I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I’d never want to hurt your feelings.’
‘It was true, Evie, and sometimes the truth hurts. And I was hurt. I am hurt. Because I see now that I could have been a much better mother to you.’
‘No, you really couldn’t.’
‘Well, I could. And the first thing I’m going to do is go for my run, to start demonstrating a healthy lifestyle to Autumn.’ She raised her voice. ‘Autumn, darling, I’m just going for a run. Evie’s going to look after you while I’m out. And next time, you and I can go together.’
Autumn came into the kitchen, stared at her mother and said, ‘Weird,’ with a really impressive sneer.
Within fifteen minutes, their mum was back, red-faced and sweating.
‘Oh myGod, Evie,’ she panted. ‘That was effing torture. Those sodding hills.’
* * *
Six hours later, Evie was finishing lunch in an Italian restaurant with Sasha while her mum and Autumn were having lunch at Grant’s pub. Again,whyhad her mum and Grant never started going out?
Sasha smiled at the waiter who’d just taken their card payments for their pizza lunch, checked her watch and said, ‘Fancy a little bit of retail therapy before we head back? I really want a cream polo neck jumper to wear with my new burgundy skirt for work days when I’m at the surgery.’
‘Definitely,’ said Evie. ‘I think I need to buy something else for Matthew. A couple of small presents.’ His thirty-fifth birthday was coming up on Friday and they were going out for a special birthday dinner that evening, and he was quite tricky to buy for – he was very conservative in his tastes – and it didn’t feel like she had a good enough present yet. ‘And we could have a look in that new shop in the arcade for something for us.’ She really didn’t need to feel guilty about the fact that it waswaymore fun shopping for herself, or for Autumn, or for her mum, or for Sasha or any of her other friends, than for Matthew. Apart from Priya, who hadthemost perfect flat and clothes in the world and was very stressful to buy for.
‘Fab. What have you got him so far?’
‘A shirt, which was outrageously expensive because it was the make he likes, but is also soooo boring.’
‘I’m sure he’ll love it. You have such great taste.’ Sasha opened her handbag and took out a lipstick and a little mirror and applied several layers of bright-red creamy gloss.
‘That’s a high-risk strategy,’ Evie said. ‘If you’re trying on cream jumpers with tight necks. Really hard not to brush them against your mouth.’
‘Yes, but I can’t not,’ Sasha said. ‘We might bump into Angus. And I do know that it’s stupid given that I wake up next to him a lot, make-up free. And probably very unfeminist. But, you know.’
‘You always look amazing, lipstick on or off,’ Evie told her, trying not to think about the fact that Sasha’s honeymoon phase with Angus had obviously lasted a lot longer than hers with Matthew had. She’d definitely dress up for Friday evening, of course she would, it was his birthday and they were going to a very nice restaurant, but if she was honest, she’d be more likely to apply lipstick because she was seeing a girlfriend – or her very critical Year Elevens – than because she might bump into Matthew. ‘Didn’t you just say Angus was working this afternoon? So he’s going to have his arm up a cow somewhere several miles away?’
