* * *
‘And, yeah, that’s basically it.’ James finished summarising everything about Ella, Leonie and his mother and father for his best friends, and took a big gulp of his lager.
‘Mate.’ Matt was shaking his head. He’d been shaking it for a while. ‘We were all just getting pissed the whole time and had literally no responsibilities and you were doing all of that? I’m so sorry that you didn’t feel you could tell us before. And that we didn’t realise. I mean, I suppose I kind of did, a little, but, you know, you get used to people being a certain way, and never talking about certain things, and you never really investigate further. Sorry, mate.’
‘And if at any point I took the piss out of you about you never once having been drunk in the seventeen years we’ve known each other, I really want to apologise.’ Josh had spent over a decade trying to persuade James to get even a fraction as trashed as he got at least once a week, until he’d ended up with stitches in his head from falling off a pavement at Matt’s thirtieth and had decided to tone things down on the alcohol front himself.
‘You should meet my sister Ella and her family. What about if you all come over for Sunday lunch the next time they come for the weekend? And this time we’ll actually do it,’ James heard himself say. And he didn’t regret it.
This was good. He was grateful – hugely grateful – for the fact that he’d done the house swap, and met Cassie, but this was his actual life, and he and Cassie clearly did not want the same things, so it was a good thing that he’d texted her rather than calling her back, because he should definitely move on from her. He had a busy life, so he’d stop missing her soon.
He really bloody missed her right now, though.
Enough. He was going to get the next round in and he was going to stop thinking about her.
Twenty-Six
Cassie
‘How did your conversation with James go on Saturday?’ Dina wasn’t even through Cassie’s door before she asked. It was great that Dina was okay about Cassie having slept with James, a huge, huge reliefbut, right at this moment in her life, Cassie could have done with a bit of space from Dina. From anyone knowing about this whole pregnancy thing.
‘Good. I mean, I didn’t actually tell him. It was an important weekend for him, so it didn’t seem like the right time.’ And now it might never be the right time to tell him again that she loved him.
‘Cassie.’
‘I know, but Ireallycouldn’t. He had a lot of family stuff going on and it really wasn’t the time. And you know what, I now realise that it’sinsaneto tell him before I’ve actually done the test. I don’t know what I was thinking. I might not actually be pregnant.’
‘You said you were sure? Period two weeks late and counting? Nearly three weeks now? Every symptom under the sun?’
‘Yes, but who knows? Maybe my body’s playing tricks on me because of the IVF treatment earlier in the summer. Or because I had sex for the first time in so many years.’
‘Honey. The only trick your body plays on you when you have sex is to get you pregnant.’
‘Yep. Fair enough. Probably I’m pregnant. But I don’t know for definite and it really wasn’t the time to talk to James. Now I realise that it was a blessing in disguise because even if Iampregnant, it might not be viable given that I lost the baby before, and there’s no point going through that whole conversation with him if it isn’t going to work out. And Iknowthat he doesn’t want children. So that would not make him inclined to want to be involved in a surprise pregnancy.’
‘Obviously it’s entirely your decision but I kind of think that you should give him the option of whether or not he wants to be involved. You don’t want to regret anything later on. I also kind of think that you should find out for definiteright nowwhether you are in fact pregnant or not. And, on both counts, when I say “kind of”, I mean I really do think that. To clarify: you should take a pregnancy test now and if it’s positive you should tell James. In my opinion. Which is always correct.’
Cassie gave her the evil eye for a moment, while she thought. Dina was partially correct, actually. ‘I do agree about doing a test. I don’t agree about telling James. I’m going to do a test now and if it’s positive I’ll tell James in a few weeks’ time.’
‘Okay. Soyay. We’re doing a test. This is exciting.’
‘We?’
‘Do you really want to do this by yourself?’ Dina was jumping up and down like an excited puppy. After briefly going alarmingly quiet after the Cassie-had-slept-with-James news, she’d been brilliant about it. And she was a fantastic best friend. And it would be great to have her support, whatever the outcome of the test.
‘No, I’d love you to be with me. But I’m doing the actual weeing alone.’
* * *
‘I’m going to be sick. This is terrible.’ Cassie stared straight ahead trying to do that eyes-on-the-horizon thing that idiots maintained helped. It didn’t. She was definitely going to throw up. ‘I hate ferries.’
‘It isn’t far,’ Dina said. ‘And it also isn’t that choppy. Keep your eyes on the horizon.’
‘Oh, please.’ Cassie whipped a sick bag out of her tote and had it open just in time to catch the contents of her stomach.
‘I’m sorry that you feel so rough,’ Dina said, rubbing her back, which actually made Cassie feel worse, except she had nothing left in her stomach to come out, ‘but this is probably still better than going to the island general store and having Mrs McGinty telling the whole world that you bought a pregnancy test.’
‘Yep.’
