‘Pregnant?’
Pregnant.
Woah.
Cassie put her elbows on the table and her head in her hands and thought.
Yep. When she thought about how she’d felt in the early days of her first pregnancy and compared that to now, and thought about the fact that she and James had definitely been pretty stupid once or twice on the contraception front, and did period maths, there was a very definite chance that she was pregnant. Her period wasreallylate. How had she not noticed?
Pregnant.Woah.
‘Honey. Have I upset you?’ Dina pulled her chair next to Cassie’s and put her arm round Cassie’s shoulders. ‘Did you do IVF again? I’m so sorry if it didn’t work out or if you’re feeling this way because of the drugs and you’re waiting to do the test. I’msosorry for being so insensitive.’
‘Not IVF,’ Cassie said through her hands.
‘You haven’t done IVF? So do you think you might be ill? Should you see a doctor?’
Part of Cassie really wanted to pretend that she thought she was ill. Actually, most of her wanted to pretend that. Also, a little bit – the sane bit, if she was honest – knew that she should tell Dina the truth. Except, oh God.
‘I think I might be pregnant,’ she said, still through her hands.
‘I’m so sorry, I misheard. I thought you said you didn’t do IVF. Oh my God, Cassie. This is so exciting.’
Cassie took her hands away from her face. ‘I think I might be pregnant but I didn’t do IVF.’
‘What? You mean?’ Dina gaped. ‘An actualpeniswas involved? For basically the first time in four years?’
Cassie winced. ‘Yep.’
‘Whoseactual penis?’
Oh shit. Cassie screwed up her face. She couldn’t say it. She should say it.
She couldn’t say it.
‘Oh myGod. Did you have sex withJames?’
Twenty-Five
James
James hunched his shoulders in response to the November drizzle that had just begun. Rain was the wrong weather for today. He was pretty sure that he was taking a positive step and when you took a positive step the sun should shine.
God, he wasn’t looking forward to this. It was one of those things where you really wished you could fast forward to afterwards.
His phone vibrated. Hopefully it was Ella saying she couldn’t make it after all. They could perhaps do it next weekend instead. Or in a few weeks’ time. Years maybe. Maybe just never.
It was Cassie.
Ridiculous, and uncomfortable, how his heart leapt at the sight of her name. It was a month now since she’d left and they’d spoken once in that time, when he’d called to check properly that she’d got back safely. It had been so excruciating that he’d decided not to call again for a while, and she hadn’t called him either.
In the meantime, he’d decided to carry on trying to sort his family life out. It felt like something positive – not just, frankly, heartbreak – should have come out of the house swap experience.
‘Hi,’ he said.
‘Hello.’ Pathetic that just the sound of her voice sent a little thrill through him. He should really be doing better at getting over her.
‘How are you?’
