She checked another couple of channels. There was nothing she wanted to watch.
The TV was huge. You actually had to turn your head a bit sometimes while watching it, it was so far from one side to the other. It was very flash – very James.
Was that the real James, though? It was hard to tell. He’d been a bit of an arse to start off with but recently he’d been a lot more pleasant. Was he still trying to get his hands on her land or was he genuinely nice?
What hedefinitelywas, no question, was gorgeous. When she’d seen him in the café yesterday morning, just, wow. At her house, in the rain, grumpy as hell and mean, he’d still been undeniably handsome. But when he was smiling and friendly, he was something else.
She’d have to be careful if he tried to persuade her in person to go down the ecotourism route. If he did too many of his disarming slow smiles, she might give in. Good job she hadn’t stayed to talk to him any longer yesterday.
For goodness’ sake. She wassmilingjust thinking about him. Like she was developing some kind of idiotic crush. Better than obsessing about IVF but kind of ridiculous.
Her phone rang. It was her mum.
‘Can we come and see you this weekend? I’ve managed to persuade your dad to move his History Club night.’
‘Of course. That would be lovely.’ It would be. One of the great bonuses of spending the summer in London was having the opportunity to see her parents. It was a lot easier for them to travel to London than to Maine from their new home in France. Next weekend wasn’tthebest timing, because she’d probably have had the embryo transferred by then and be feeling at least as hormonal as now, and even more stressed, but she could always just pretend she was feeling ill. And seeing them would be a distraction from the constantthinking.
She looked around the room as her mother told her about the new trees she’d just had planted in their garden.
Her parents were going tolovethis flat.
Good job her mother wasn’t going to meet the flat’s owner. She’d no doubt love James too and probably try to set Cassie up with him. Now that she’d retired, she was desperate to become a grandmother. Last summer when Cassie had visited them, her mother had invited two different ‘eligible young men’ over on consecutive days and had literally asked them, in front of Cassie, about when they’d like to start families. She had also let them both know, very explicitly, that they weren’t required as long-term partners, just as potential fathers. Sperm donors basically.
At least she wouldn’t be upset in the slightest if Cassie got pregnant via actual sperm donation. Cassie had been able to assure her implications counsellor that her family and friends would have zero problem accepting her choice to do IVF in this way.
Her parents would actually beecstaticif Cassie got successfully pregnant now.
She definitely couldn’t tell them about her IVF, though. They’d be too upset on her behalf if it didn’t work out. One of the reasons she’d moved to the States after her miscarriage had been that her parents’ grief on her behalf had made everything worse.
Her mum had finished telling her about the garden.
‘Love you,’ said Cassie. ‘Can’t wait to see you on Friday.’
She pressed red on her phone and picked up the remote again. The first channel she clicked on was showing a re-run ofCall the Midwife. There was the most gorgeous baby on the screen.
She wanted a baby of her ownso much. Oh, God, what if it didn’t work out?
No. She wasn’t enjoying sitting alone with the television and her thoughts. She was going to turn the TV off and get on with some work, maybe re-draft that last scene about the twins hiding in the grounds of Buckingham Palace.
* * *
Cassie’s heart jumped as her parents emerged from the Eurostar Customs. Sometimes it was only when you actually saw people that you realised just how much you’d been missing them.
‘Cassie.’ Her mother swept towards her and enfolded her in a hug. ‘It’s so good to see my beautiful daughter.’ She leaned back a little out of the hug and inspected Cassie’s face. ‘Have you lost weight since last month,habibi?’
Cassie had to fight hard to force back sudden tears. OhGod. These hormones were driving herinsane. She was a complete mess – nearly in tears because it was so wonderful to see her mother. She was also a complete blob. Ofcourseshe hadn’t lost weight. She was retaining water at the rate of what felt like several gallons a day. She was wearing a swing dress today because she hadn’t been able to do up her favourite jeans earlier.
‘Are you eating properly?’
‘Mum. It’s lovely to see you. And I’m thirty-seven and I can cook and yes I am eating properly and no I definitely haven’t lost weight.’
‘Hmm.’ Her mum squished her back into another mammoth hug and Cassie nearly yelped out loud. Her boobs weresosore. It was four days since they’d transferred the embryo andhonestly, she had so many bloody symptoms. It had to be a good sign, surely. A lot of the symptoms were very similar to ones she’d had the first time she was pregnant. All the information they’d given her at the clinic said that these symptoms were to be expected because of the drugs she was on, and not to read too much into them, butsurelythey had to mean something. Hopefully.
‘Hello, darling.’ Cassie’s father had joined them, panting slightly, with all the luggage. ‘You’re looking very well. It’s wonderful to see you.’ Cassie’s eyes filledagain. Lucky that her mother had drawn her father into a three-way hug so that neither of them could see her face while she blinked the tears away.
‘Hello, Dad.’ She’d got rid of the tears, so she pulled away slightly, to get more comfortable. ‘You look well too.’ He lookedred.
‘That’s what everyone says when I’m sunburnt. No-one should ever make Glaswegians live in hotter places.’ He grinned at her and she smiled back. They both knew that the grumbling meant nothing; he’d always be happy wherever Cassie’s mother was. He’d also always be scarlet for several months of the year, if that place was a sunny part of France, given that he could burn in Glasgow in April. ‘Come on. Let’s go and find this flat of yours.’
