‘How long has it been since you ate, Caris?’He regarded my face with a frown.I glanced at the little mirror on the table.My cheeks were hollowed, and dark shadows lined my gloomy eyes.
I couldn’t remember how long it’d been.I probably smelled too.‘Can you ask them to fill the bath?’I looked at him helplessly.
He disappeared for a bit and came back with soup and bread.‘The hot water will be here soon.’He guided me to the chair and placed the food on my lap.‘Eat,’ he said.
The smell of food made my stomach clench painfully.I was hungry for the first time in days.After I took a spoonful and swallowed, Cillian left to talk to someone outside the door.I couldn’t hear what they said but soon recognised Torgrin’s deep voice.Cillian returned to the room, followed by servants with jugs of water.
When they left and the bath was full, there was an awkward moment when Cillian was about to leave, and I panicked.‘Stay?’He felt like a lifeline, and I wasn’t ready for him to go yet.
He nodded, closing the door.
‘Help me undress?’
Cillian came back to stand before me.I raised my arms like a child so he could remove the shirt I had been sleeping in for days.Cillian’s thick eyelashes lowered briefly as I sank into the copper tub.He knelt and took a jug to scoop water onto my hair.He used his large hand to prevent water from getting into my eyes, then lathered up the lavender-scented soap and began washing my hair.It was surprising how gentle his call used blacksmith’s hands were.
I regarded Cillian’s fine-looking face as he worked the soap through long strands of my hair.He was sweet, caring and understanding.He was what I needed.I wanted the loneliness that gripped my heart at Iain’s loss to go away.A distraction from the horror I had left on the road.The deaths of three men were on my hands.
I had lied when I told Torgrin I didn’t need anyone.I was lonely and tired of pushing people away.Cillian knew I was Cursed.He knew I was determined to find and kill the man who murdered my mother, and yet he had still come.I longed for love and a refuge to be myself.Cillian could give me those things if I were brave enough to ask.I wanted him with my heart and my body.
I stood in the tub, water trickling down my body as I held out the lavender soap.‘Cillian?’My voice trembled slightly.
His gaze was averted, but at the sound of his name, he looked at me.The hard line of his jaw softened, and his fingers found mine.Taking the soap, he began running it along my extended arm.The soap travelled teasingly down my neck and onto my breasts.I gasped when he brushed the silky soft soap over my nipples.His hand paused, and he raised a questioning brow.
Holding my bottom lip between my punishing teeth, I nodded, giving him the permission he sought.
The soap reached my toned stomach, drifting down my expansive thigh to my knee.His hand dipped below the water to my feet.The room was quiet except for the slight splashing of bath water and our labored breathing.I shivered as he brought the soap back up my other leg, and feeling bold, I parted my legs for him.
My breath caught as he hesitated.Then, the soap caressed the delicate skin of my inner thigh.I sighed, disappointed, when his hand stopped its journey north too soon.
‘Turn around, Caris,’ he said, the roll of the r in my name making me shiver.
He muttered something behind my back that sounded like, ‘Magnificent arse too.’A warmth settled low in my belly.
The soap continued its journey down my spine and over my buttocks.He teased me again, drawing the soap up the back of my thighs agonizingly slowly.The delightful torment ended when Cillian put the soap down.
‘It’s best if you sit to wash off the soap.’
I shivered as my hands touched my tingling skin.After rinsing, I stepped out of the lukewarm water and onto the rug.
Cillian handed me a drying cloth with an unsteady hand.I felt feverish as his brown eyes watched me move the linen over my wet skin.Dropping the cloth, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.He tenderly placed his hands on my naked hips.
His mouth was soft and warm, and my entire body tingled when he sucked gently on my bottom lip.
‘Open your mouth a little,’ he whispered.
He kissed me again, but his tongue entered my mouth ever so softly.I trembled at the intimacy of the act.He continued to kiss me, coaxing my tongue to play with his.All thoughts of death and killing had evaporated, and I was glad for it.
‘Caris?’he said, sounding breathless.
‘Mmm?’I tried to bring his mouth back by pulling on his shirt front.
‘How far do you want to take this?’He grasped my wrists and stepped back to look at me.
‘All the way,’ I admitted, and he released my wrists, allowing me to bring him closer.
Just as our lips were about to touch, he pulled away again.‘I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I don’t think now is the right time.’
I nuzzled into his neck to hide the tears that threatened to spill.
