“I needed to talk to you. To see you. I… I wanted to see how you were.” For a moment, she thought he was going to take her hand, but then he let his own hand drop, shaking his head as he took half a step towards him.
“I am fine.” She stiffened at the way he flinched from the coldness of her words. “If that is all, then feel free to leave.”
“It is not all. We need to talk, about what happened in London.” His eyes met hers for the briefest of moments before she looked away.
This was a mistake.His words hardened her resolve, building the wall around her heart. The wall that would keep her safe.
“There is nothing more to say.” She gestured towards the door turning away from him and heading back to the bed.“You have wasted a journey. No doubt Charlotte will have a guest bed made up for you. I suggest you make use of it and leave me in peace.”
She felt his fingers close around her arm, and looked up at him, jerking out of his grip as she did. “Please, Andrea, I need to speak to you.”
“Why? So you can accuse me of having one foot out the door again? So you can tell me how much you regret marrying me?” She glowered at him, her heart speeding up.
“I do not regret marrying you.” He stepped back, his eyes widening.
“Oh really? Because that is what it sounded like when you told me I was a mistake!” Andrea’s voice broke and she gripped the back of the sofa so tight, her knuckles turned white. “Or had you forgotten that?”
It took every ounce of her strength to keep from shaking, to keep the tears that threatened to spring forth from her eyes at bay.
“How could I forget that? That night has haunted me ever since I was stupid enough to let you walk out that door.” He moved towards her, but stopped himself when she took a step away from him.
Then why did you let me?She wanted to scream it at him, but bit the words back. “And what do you expect me to do with that? You think you can show up here in the dead of night, looking like a drowned rat and what? I will feel sorry for you? I will just roll over and take you back with no questions asked?”
She glared at him, her blood pounding through her veins, heart squeezing painfully as she closed her eyes.
She sensed him move closer to her. “No. I do not expect you to forgive me just like that. I know that I have hurt you.”
“You did.” She opened her eyes, but did not look at him, staring instead at the window.
Rain fell in rivulets down it, catching in the fire light. She took a shaky breath and looked back at Frederick, trying to fuel the flame of her anger with memories of their fight.
It was hard to do as he stood there looking utterly bedraggled. The sight made her even more irritated, even as her treacherous heart begged for her to hear him out.I cannot go down that road again, I may want children but… But that does not change what he said. It does not mean I can trust him.
“And there is no excusing it. But I cannot just let you walk away.” He reached for her hand but she moved out of his reach, wrapping her arms around herself.
“It is a bit late for that, Frederick. The door is already shut.” She jerked her head towards the door.
“Then I will find a window.” A ghost of his usual smile flitted across his face, fading as she glared at him. “I will do whatever it takes so that you know how truly sorry I am. If you want me to run naked down the streets, ringing a bell and proclaiming my shame before the ton, I will do it. If you want me to spend years searching for the perfect diamond I will do it.”
“It is not as easy as that.”This was a mistake.How was she supposed to trust him?
“I will get on my knees and beg. I will spend every day until the day I die, pleading for your forgiveness, regretting everything I said that night.” Frederick knelt before her as though he was illustrating his point.
“It does not matter. Words are just that. Words.” She would not go to him. She would not give into this display.
He reached a hand towards her, still kneeling, the faintest ghost of a smile on his face. “Then let me show you with actions.”
“Just stop it.” Andrea turned from him, hugging her arms around her so tightly she heard something pop.
“Andrea, please, just tell me what I need to-”
She cut him off. “- You are not listening! I do not want to forgive you. You broke my heart, Frederick. Trampled it and then let me leave.”
“I wanted you to sta-” Frederick was on his feet, his arms reaching for her but she danced away from him, refusing to let him finish the lie. “No you did not. Do not say it.”
“But it is the tru-” he tried to say but she would not hear it. “-just leave me alone.”
“Damn it, Andrea, just listen to me.” She felt him grab her upper arms and twist her to face him.
