Pulling into Hawk’s long driveway, I asked Daire to give me ten minutes to talk to them on my own considering the last time we were here Daire threatened to burn the world down and carried me out like a baby koala.
Hawkley opened the door wide when I reached the top of the path.“I’m glad you’re here.We need to talk.”
“That would explain why I’m here,” I answered drily.“Where’s Noelle?She should be here for this as well.This way I only have to say it once.”
I gathered my thoughts as we settled in Hawk and Noelle’s family room.
“I made soup,” Noelle blurted.Face blotchy with red-rimmed eyes, she looked almost as rough as I did.“My mom’s recipe.And cheese buns.Your mom’s cheese buns.”
I looked at her incredulously.Did she think I came for soup?
“It’s tradition,” she continued.“The Great Veggie Bake-Off begins November 1st.”
Hawk put a reassuring hand on her knee.
“You can take yours to go if you don’t want to stay.”She sniffed.“But I hope you’ll stay.We’re so sorry, Harley.We handled this all wrong from the beginning.There were a hundred times I could have told you, but I didn’t.”
I nodded slowly, taking her in.There was no doubt she was sorry, but I needed to say my piece.
“The worst part wasn’t that you kept such a stupid, insignificant detail from me.”The part of me still struggling to believe it was small and insignificant winced at those words, but I carried on.“The worst part was that it wasn’t insignificant in your eyes.You couldn’t believe Daire could be interested in me in any way other than as a consolation prize.”
I vaguely registered the shocked looks on their faces but carried on.
“I’ve always been second best.Last chosen for the team.Deemed too small, too slow, or too young.I’m used to being undermined and dismissed.Just not by you.”
Both of them opened their mouths to speak but I held up a hand to ask them to let me finish.
“When you all reassured me that I was beautiful, worthy, and deserving of an epic love story, I believed you meant it.Knowing you think about me no differently than anybody else?That’s what made me feel so ashamed.That’s what hurts the most.”
I took a steadying breath.“Maybe you should take some time to rethink just how you see me.I assure you, I’m not the same girl you all walked away from ten years ago.And I won’t shrink myself down to fit into the role you remember me playing.”
I swallowed the pain of their betrayal.“Hunter was the only person in my life who never made me feel like I wasn’t enough.And now Daire gives that to me.”
Hawkley sat forward, elbows braced on his knees, his hands loosely linked between his knees, stormy eyes soft.
“I always thought Hunter pushed you too hard,” he began slowly, his voice gruff.“I was forever telling him to ease off.You were so tiny, but you pushed yourself to keep up with not one, but two older brothers.You never stopped to consider that you couldn’t do something.Which scared me at times if I’m honest.”
He tapped the tips of his fingers together and swallowed hard.“There’s a lot to unpack.First of all, I’m so sorry I withdrew from you.It wasn’t right.It wasn’t fair.And it wasn’t deserving.”
“But it was understandable,” I murmured.
He nodded perfunctorily.“It was never, ever, a consideration that you weren’t good enough for him, or that you were a consolation prize.You are the prize.It’s him I thought wasn’t good enough for you.
“He moved into town, had intentions toward Noelle, then turned around and literally swept you off your feet.”He snorted.“I’ve watched you eat shit your whole life because of certain people in this community.You never deserved it.You’ve always risen above it and carried on.I worried he was one of them.I didn’t want him to break your heart.”
“You couldn’t fathom how he’d ever want me?”
“No.”He shook his head adamantly.“It’s much, much simpler than that.I just wanted you to have all the facts before you gave him your heart.You’re my baby sister.You just got out of a bad relationship, and I didn’t trust Daire.Probably wouldn’t trust anybody if I’m to be completely honest with you.And if I think I need to protect you, I will.”
Hawkley stood and pulled me to my feet, then curved his big body around mine.“At least I like Daire,” he muttered crossly.“I hated Paul.”
I huffed out a laugh and placed my ear over his heart, closed my eyes, and squeezed him tight.I didn’t want conflict between us.I’d only just gotten him back.
I’d cried so much the day before, my insides were drier than the Gobi Desert.
Thank God.
I hated crying in front of people.
