There is a mutual round of disgust from everyone in the car, except Ernesto. Kel turns to him. “You spank it, Ernie? Spank?” He makes a hand gesture to his penis and Ernesto’s smile fades. He faces forward and Kel laughs.
“You’re a disgusting pig! Leave him alone!” Emerson shouts, leaning forward to look him in the eye.
“Ah, he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. It’s fine.”
I glance over at Finn and he’s shaking his head. “Em, I don’t know what you usually drink, but I got you a caramel latte.”
“Thanks, Finn. That was nice of you, but I don’t drink coffee. I’m sorry.”
“Neither does Kel. Tell me what you’d prefer and I’ll get it for tomorrow.”
I turn in my seat to look at her and notice Kel nodding and making a money sign with his fingertips. I cringe.
“No. You shouldn’t be buying us anything. Driving is plenty.”
“I agree,” I add. “Please stop.”
“I get coffee every morning. It’s no trouble at all. Plus, they have a rewards program. Every tenth cup is free or something.”
“If you insist, then I’ll start paying you for it,” I tell him.
“Me too,” Emerson adds.
There’s a moment of silence and I glance back at Kel.
“I’ll just take the free tenth cup.”
I shake my head and face forward again. Finn is laughing. Does anything get to him?
It’s quiet for the next couple of minutes until I hear a crunching sound. I glance over my shoulder and Emerson is munching on banana chips.
“Am I too loud?” she asks.
“No,” I reply. “I just wondered where the sound was coming from.”
“Sorry. I’m always hungry. Can’t help it.”
“Well you’d better watch what you eat,” Kel says. “Girl farts may be silent, but they’re deadly.”
“I don’t fart,” Emerson says in a huff.
“Whatever,” Kel huffs out. “Everybody farts. Especially girls.” He nudges Finn’s seat from behind. “Right, buddy?”
“Yep,” Finn agrees.
“Don’t agree with him,” Emerson adds. “You’ll just encourage him.”
Kel laughs. “I bet if we had a farting contest you and Liz would win. Girls make some nasty-ass shit.”
“Why don’t you just shut your mouth before more crap comes spilling out. Do you ever say anything that’s not rude or crude?” Emerson asks.
“Anything.”
“Thank God Ernesto is between us.”
I sigh heavily. I’m glad I don’t have to participate in this conversation, but it’s certainly not what I envisioned when I’d hoped for more people to keep Finn busy.
I wonder if this will change the dynamic between us. I might miss having his undivided attention, but I don’t know why. Pulling out my notebook, I write a few thoughts. We’ve come to a standstill again. Traffic sucks.
