“What do you mean?” I ask, facing him.
“In the very beginning, you say something about wanting to turn your stories into a book but not having the courage.”
I nod my head and he takes my hand in his.
“I did it for you. I took the leap.”
“And after I read it, I gave it to Sam,” Ernesto continues. “Finn didn’t know. Sam and I had met during a meeting for the nextFabulista few weeks ago and we got to talking,” Ernesto says. “I remembered her telling me how much she loved books and how she’d like to try to publish works by new indie authors. It clicked.”
“I really loved it, Liz,” Sam says. “I’ve read a lot of books. Yours is special. I can feel it. If you’ll agree, I’d like to publish it. It needs some editing and a few tweaks. I think we should also change your names and definitely the company, but I think it will sell.”
“Really? You really think it’s that good?”
“I do.”
I glance back and forth between Finn, Ernesto, and Sam, not knowing what to say.
“I know there are a few pages Finn removed. I’d like you to rewrite them, maybe keeping out some key details,” she says with a wink.
“You can leave in the part about the great sex. I don’t mind,” Finn adds, laughing.
“I bet you don’t,” I respond.
“So what do you say, Liz?” Sam asks.
“Will it interfere with my job?” I ask. “Because I really love my job.”
“We can always have you write under a pen name. Lots of people do it.”
“Well?” Finn asks. “What do you think?”
I close my eyes for a second and try to breathe. I’ve had a wall around myself for a really long time. I never thought I’d ever let someone like Finn see the real me, much less let anyone read my inner thoughts. But they did and they didn’t run away. They heard what was in my heart and they stayed. People come and people go. It’s part of life. Keeping people at bay may have kept the pain away, but it also kept the joy. I wouldn’t trade the time with my dad for anything in the world, even though it hurt like hell when he was gone. I was afraid to let anyone in, because endings didn’t seem to be worth beginnings.
I gaze over at Finn. His eyes are soft and tender. He’s looking at me the way he used to, and my heart is full. Someday, even this story will come to an end, but damn… that saying is true. It is better to have loved and lost than not to have felt it at all. He loves me. My friends love me. I’m not alone anymore and I never want to be again.
Every move I’ve made has brought me here. All the risks were worth it. I’m different now and I can’t go back to who I was before. I don’t want to. I want to move forward and stop looking back. And if that means I need to take a leap of faith, then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll keep on leaping forward. I may not be in the fast lane, but I know I’m going somewhere.
I smile and nod my head, taking Finn’s hand and holding on tight. “Let’s do it.”
