“I’m going to get you out of here,” she says suddenly, her voice sharp with resolve.
“No, Mom...we’re not doing that.I—I can’t.”The words come out weak, fractured.There’s no chance of leaving now.
“Why not, cara?You still have time,” she argues, desperate to persuade me again.
“Mother...”I take a shaky breath, my lips quivering.“I can’t because...I think I’m pregnant.”
The words hang heavy in the air.
My chin rests against my knees as I pull them tightly to my chest.My heart hammers violently against my ribs as I rock back and forth, staring blankly at the floor, lost in thought.The next few minutes could change my life forever — and I am not ready.If I really am pregnant, it will be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to face.I don’t think I’m ready — not physically, not mentally, not emotionally.
I don’t even know for sure, but the signs are there — the nausea, the sudden waves of dizziness, the endless exhaustion.Mom insists that I take a pregnancy test, just to be sure.So now, I wait.Every second feels like an eternity.
Then her gasp slices through the silence.
“Ariana!”she chokes out, voice trembling.
My eyes snap to hers.
“It’s positive,” she says, barely above a whisper.“You’re pregnant.”
The words echo inside my head, hollow and unrelenting.My mind goes blank — stripped of sound, thought, air.Mom stands there frozen, her face pale with shock and horror.My heart plummets to the floor as the truth sinks in.
And then I break.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I crumble beneath the weight of it all.The future — this baby’s future — flashes before my eyes, and all I see is darkness.There is no world where this child will be safe, not with Nicola in it.He ruins everything he touches.
If the baby is to live...it cannot live near him.
My chest tightens as another thought tears through me — Alessandro.
Oh, Alessandro.
It should have been him.
It should be his child, our child.
If he were here, he’d be holding me, smiling through tears, promising me everything would be okay.He’d love this baby.He’d love me.
But he’s not here.
And I’m carrying the child of a monster.
I sob until my throat burns and my body feels empty.
“Ariana, baby...don’t cry,” Mom murmurs, wrapping her arms around me.“We can fix this, okay?We can solve it.”Her hand strokes the back of my head gently.“You don’t have to keep the baby.You’ll get an abortion.”
My eyes widen.“No!Never!”I pull away, shaking my head in disbelief.“Mother, I can’t abort this child.This baby hasn’t done anything wrong.It deserves to live.If anyone should be punished, it’s Nicola!”My voice cracks, trembling with rage and grief.
I tremble on the floor, clutching my stomach as silent sobs escape me.I think of all the lives Nicola has destroyed, all the blood he’s spilled — innocent people, gone because of him.And now, to take away this baby’s life because of him too?
No.I won’t let that happen.
“Darling,” Mom pleads, “you’re not thinking clearly!What about Alessandro?”
Alessandro.His name still feels like a prayer, a wound, a ghost.But he’s gone.I have to accept that.Alessandro is the past — and the past can’t save me.
“I don’t know, Mother,” I whisper, my voice breaking apart.“I seriously don’t know.”
