Now that she had acknowledged that she had deep and abiding feelings for Lord Harford, she could not help her growing longing for him. It was the most painful thing to be so close to him and yet so very far away.
When Emily and James pulled apart from each other, she was smiling and turning to Victoria and Lily.
“Lily, sweetheart, come greet your papa,” Emily said.
Victoria let Lily’s hand go so the little girl could run forward to her parents. James squatted down so he could scoop his daughter up into his arms.
“Lily!” he exclaimed. “You have gotten so big! I have missed you so much. Have you missed me?”
Lily hugged her father’s neck and replied, “Yes, papa. I have missed you. Mama missed you too.”
“And I missed her,” James nodded, glancing toward his wife with a smile. He swept his gaze around the room, and it landed on Lord Harford. “Edward! How are you, old friend?”
Chuckling, Lord Harford stepped forward and offered James his hand. His brother-in-law took it, and they shook.
“I am well,” he replied. “Glad to see you again. It has been so long. I was beginning to wonder if you would ever come back.”
James smirked. “How could I stay away? I missed your wit and charm oh so much.”
Lord Harford grinned. “I am hard to resist. I am glad you have returned, though. My sister has become such a burden, and I have been in need of relief from her company.”
Emily scoffed. “You are hilarious, brother. I do not know how you can get away with such impressive examples of humour.”
Victoria stood back and watched the exchange between the three. It was heartwarming, yet it reminded Victoria of how lonely she was without her own family or someone to love her so completely. She was not certain what she should do, but she felt somewhat like a voyeur standing there watching this reunion.
As if she could sense Victoria’s growing uncertainty, Emily looked up at her and smiled.
“James, I must introduce you to our nanny, Miss Clifford.” Emily reached out her hand to Victoria. “Come meet James, Tory.”
Victoria put on a polite smiled and stepped forward.
“Glad to meet you, Mr Radcliffe,” she said, dropping into a small curtsy. “It is a pleasure to have you home.”
James grinned at her and set Lily down on the floor to move closer to Victoria.
“I am pleased to meet you as well,” he said, inclining his head to her. “Emily has written about you quite a bit. I feel as though I know you already.”
Victoria could not help but laugh softly at that. “I am sure she has exaggerated a few things, my lord. Emily is far too kind.”
“Nonsense,” Emily piped up. “I never exaggerate. Everything I told you, James, is entirely true. Tory is a wonder, and we have been blessed to have her with us. Do you not agree, Edward?”
Victoria’s eyes immediately turned to Lord Harford. He was staring at her with an expression she could not read. It was as though he were contemplating something, and it drove her crazy, not knowing what was on his mind. What did he think of her, really?
At length, he finally said, “Yes, I completely agree.”
Victoria’s eyes widened, and she could not help but feel rather stunned by his words. Did he really mean them? Was he only saying what he thought Emily wanted him to say? She could not tell, and it made her rather nervous.
She did not know where she stood with him. She did not know where Cressida stood with him. She wanted to ask but knew it really was not any of her business.
Emily and Lord Harford turned their attention back to James, and Victoria was relieved not to have his eyes on her anymore. It was too unsettling. Too confusing.
Her feelings were a jumble within her, and she did not know how to sort through them. She did not want to take away from the happiness of the moment, however, so she kept her thoughts to herself and tried to fade into the background as much as she possibly could.
***
The next few days were busy with various outings and activities to celebrate James’ return home and to reintroduce him to London society. Victoria was included in quite a few of these outings as Lily accompanied her parents to the park, different afternoon teas, the market, and so on. She was able to have time to herself in the evenings, though, as Emily, James, and Lord Harford grew busier with balls and soirees as the Season got underway.
It was a bit of a relief each night when she could sit in the quiet and not interact with anyone…, especially Lord Harford.
