“You looked…sad,” he softly said.
Victoria felt her cheeks heat. She looked around and found the rest of the family watching her with their own looks of concern.
“Please do not worry,” she insisted, keeping her voice light to hide her distress. “I really am sorry if it seemed as though I was sad. I really am not. I was just thinking of something I had forgotten to do today, but it is no matter. I will do it tomorrow.”
She waited with bated breath, hoping they believed her. Emily smiled in relief and nodded, and the Duke and Duchess also appeared convinced.
Lord Harford, however, still appeared uncertain.
“If there is something I can do to help you….” he began, but Victoria quickly shook her head.
“No, no, I promise, there is no need,” she insisted. “I am perfectly happy. Come now, let us sit down and have our dinner. You all must be starving by now.”
As they had already reached the table, the Duke and Duchess sat, and Victoria settled into her seat next to Emily. Lord Harford sat across from her, and when he looked at her again, he still appeared concerned.
She was a little baffled if she was honest. Had he always been so attentive? She was not certain, as he had been trying so hard to avoid her for so long. It was rather nice, though, having someone notice that she was upset, even though she did not want anyone to realize it. That appeared to be another positive mark for Lord Harford.
As the meal got underway, the conversation around the table remained light and cheery. The Duke told one more story about his time in India, and the Duchess allowed it, though she insisted he keep it short. Emily talked about the new dresses she had ordered for Lily back in London and was excited for them to arrive.
She wanted to make sure Lily had new things to wear when her father returned home. Victoria got the sense, though, that Emily was far more eager for him to come back in general, though she disguised the want as a desire to impress him with the little lady Lily was becoming.
“We all look forward to when James arrives,” the Duchess declared. “I daresay he must be eager to be back with you and Lily as well, my dear.”
Emily nodded, her cheeks going slightly pink. “Yes, he is. He always asks about her in his letters. Always says he wishes he was with us. That he hates missing watching her grow.”
Victoria felt a wave of sympathy for Emily. She knew what it was like to be so far from the ones she loved most.
“James is a capable man,” Lord Harford said with a grin. “Foolish for leaving you, Emily, but I know he will return safe and sound. If not, I will be forced to hunt him down and drag him back myself.”
Emily chuckled. “I am certain you would do just that, brother. I appreciate your dedication to my happiness.”
Lord Harford laughed at that and nodded. “Never fear that I am not dedicated. Whatever I have to do to ensure your contentment and peace of mind, I will happily do.”
Victoria watched the exchange quietly, her eyes bouncing between the siblings. Their tones would make one suppose they were teasing each other, but there was a focus in Lord Harford’s gaze that told Victoria he was quite serious. He would do whatever he had to for his sister and niece. Yet another point in his favour.
Victoria was as pleased as she was confused. Was this really the same man as the one she had met on the ship from France? Had she really misjudged him so terribly?
She could see now that she was really looking at him that he was a good man. He was kind and generous. Attentive and respectful. She had let her first impression of him blind her to who he really was.
Her heart beat rapidly as she gazed at him, and it was as though a wall was being torn down that had been holding her feelings back. She realized at that moment that she cared about him far more than she had thought. It was as though she had only been able to experience a trickle of her feelings before, but now she was experiencing the full force of them.
It startled her and thrilled her all at once. She had never felt anything like this for a man before. Victoria was not quite certain how to put into words what was happening within her, but she realized she needed to pull herself together before she let her inner workings reveal themselves to those around her.
Swallowing, she dropped her hands into her lap and pinched her thigh beneath her skirts. It did not truly hurt, but it was enough to snap her out of her own head and focus. Thankfully, Lord Harford was not watching her at that moment as he remained occupied with Emily. That was a small blessing, at least.
I must speak with him, though. Apologize for my behaviour.
She needed to tell him how sorry she was for believing him to be such a scoundrel. She could see now that she had been wrong, and she was not too prideful to ignore that.
***
Edward
Something was different. He could not put his finger on what it was exactly, but Miss Clifford was acting…strangely.
It had been two days since the dinner when he had caught her looking so sad, and for some reason, Miss Clifford kept appearing wherever he was. It was almost as though she were intentionally seeking him out, which was rather odd, as it had been clear she had been doing her best to avoid him up until that point.
When he was in the library, she came inside and looked around as though searching for something. When her eyes had landed on him, she had appeared nervous but had made no attempt to turn around and leave. Edward had been the one to slip away.
