He could not confront her, he knew that, but it still did not sit well with him. If he ever suspected what she was hiding was going to put his family at risk in some way, he could confront her. Until that time, however, he would let the matter go.
But he would remain vigilant and keep a closer eye on Miss Clifford.
Chapter 25
Lily’s giggles floated through the air, and the sunshine was warm and bright. Victoria could not help but smile as she watched her young charge chasing butterflies through the grassy field on the estate while she and Miss Radcliffe kept a watchful eye on her in the shade of a towering tree.
For the first time in days, Victoria allowed herself to truly relax. Things continued to be awkward between her and Lord Harford, but he continued to maintain her distance, and she was content to continue keeping herself busy with Lily.
Mrs Radcliffe had also helped to distract her from the tension with Lord Harford. Victoria had found herself growing rather close to her employer. Mrs Radcliffe was, of course, kind and generous, but she never made Victoria feel as though she were inferior. She treated Victoria as an equal, talking with her and putting aside formality in most of their interactions. Victoria felt as though they were genuinely becoming friends, and it was a welcome development.
It was rather easy to feel lonely, being so far away from her family and not knowing anyone apart from her employers. She had had no one to confide in for so long, and though there were things she still could not tell Mrs Radcliffe, it was a rather pleasant change of pace to have someone who would listen to her and actually care about what she thought and how she felt.
Mrs Radcliffe released a contended sigh, pulling Victoria’s attention to her.
“My, but it is a lovely day, is it not?” Mrs Radcliffe declared, grinning at Victoria.
Nodding, Victoria replied, “It is indeed. A perfect day to be outside.”
“We have so few days that are so sunny and pleasant,” Mrs Radcliffe chuckled. “It seems that there are always clouds in the sky, or it is raining or foggy. We have been rather blessed, though. We have had quite a few sunny days since we arrived in the country.”
“Indeed, ma’am,” Victoria said. “We have been quite lucky.”
Mrs Radcliffe released a groan. “Come now, Miss Clifford. It is just the two of us. There is no need for you to call me ma’am or Mrs Radcliffe. Emily is perfectly fine. We are friends, after all, are we not?”
Victoria could not help her smile as she answered, “Yes, we are friends. Very well, Emily, then you must also call me Victoria…or Tory if you like.”
Emily’s eyes lit up in delight. “Oh, I adore Tory. It is such a charming nickname. It certainly suits you.”
“Thank you,” Victoria chuckled. “That is very kind.”
Emily tilted her head and gazed at Victoria for several moments as if assessing her.
At length, she said, “May I ask you a personal question, Tory?”
“Of course,” Victoria replied, though her heart started beating just a bit harder. “What is it?”
“Well, I am curious,” Emily began, her tone oddly hesitant. “And I hope you do not take offence to this, but it is only that you are so lovely and kind, but…why have you not married?”
Victoria was taken aback by the question, but not because she was offended. She had truly not expected Emily to ask her such a thing. Why should she care why Victoria remained unmarried?
Once she was past her surprise, she considered her answer carefully. She could not tell Emily the truth…at least not all of it. She did not want to give herself away. Not even to Emily, despite how close they were becoming. What would Emily think of her? She would certainly release Victoria from her post. She could not let that happen.
At length, Victoria decided on a half-truth.
“It is not very complicated,” she said with a shrug. “My family is…well, we are not wealthy.” True. “My father passed not so long ago.” Also true. “I decided, as the oldest, to find work to help support my mother and siblings. Not such an uncommon thing for someone in my position.”
There, that was not so bad. She had not lied outright, really. She had just omitted a few things, that is all. She had no reason to feel guilty about any of what she had said. Still, there was a small knot in her stomach that she tried to push away, but it persisted even as she forced a smile and waited for Emily’s response.
“I see,” Emily said at length, slowly nodding. “I suppose that makes sense. I am sorry. I never considered that…I suppose I have never had to worry about the well-being of my family in that way.”
I never considered it before either…until I had no other choice.
So Victoria could not really blame Emily for her ignorance. She had not had to worry about wealth and had always had others in her life who could provide for her, as was the expectation for ladies and gentlemen. Victoria would have been of the same mind as Emily had her father not died and left her family in such a desperate state.
“It is just the way of things,” Victoria shrugged. “I am content with my lot in life and am very happy to be employed with your family. Honestly, I am very lucky to be where I am.”
That was the complete truth. Victoria had not needed to choose her words carefully for that statement. Even with how odd her situation with Lord Harford might be and how she might daydream about being a lady again just to be on equal ground with him, she knew she was lucky. She could have been employed by someone cruel. Someone who abused her.
