She tore her eyes from him, knowing she would not be able to hide how rattled Lord Harford made her.
Swallowing, she clutched Lily’s hand more tightly and said, “Come, Miss Lily. Let us go get you settled in your room. We will let your mama and uncle talk privately with your grandparents."
The little girl nodded and began heading toward the large manor, tugging Victoria along after her. She did not dare look at Lord Harford again as they passed him by.
***
Lily’s laughter filled the air and made Victoria smile. She watched as her charge threw pieces of bread at the ducks that lived around the pound toward the back of the estate. The little girl had been eager to see it, and Victoria had decided to indulge her once she had overseen the unpacking and set up of both their rooms.
She would never admit it out loud, but she had been eager to get out of the house. Knowing Lord Harford was just down the hall from her had made it difficult to concentrate on her duties, and the fresh air and open countryside made her feel much calmer and at ease.
This place would be good for her, she decided. She had not realized just how tense London had made her. She had been constantly worried about how her status was perceived, even though there was no one in London who would know her on sight.
Still, it was difficult to pretend she did not miss the privileges of being a member of high society, and in London, it was impossible to avoid encountering such luxuries and prestige. The country was simpler. Quieter. There were fewer people around to remind her of what she had lost, and she could simply be grateful for what she now had.
“Miss Clifford! There you are!”
Victoria looked to see Mrs Radcliffe waving to her as she made her way across the grassy field between the house and the pond. Smiling, Victoria waved back.
Once Mrs Radcliffe reached her, Victoria said, “Have you come to enjoy the sunshine with us, ma’am?”
Mrs Radcliffe nodded. “Yes, I thought a bit of fresh air would do me some good after our long journey. Have you settled into your room?”
“I have,” Victoria replied. “It is very lovely, thank you. Miss Lily is also excited about her room. She claims it is bigger than the one she had back in town. I do not think that is true, but there are larger windows which may make it seem larger to her.”
Mrs Radcliffe chuckled as she gazed down at her daughter. Her expression turned soft, and her gaze loving as she watched the girl play. “Oh, to be a child again and to see the world with such excitement and wonder.”
“Indeed,” Victoria agreed. “Somedays, I envy Miss Lily her innocence. So much of the world is brand new to her yet. She is able to enjoy everything through fresh eyes.”
Mrs Radcliffe turned her grin to Victoria. “You have been such a blessing to us, Miss Clifford. Lily loves you so much, and I have become quite fond of you as well. We all have.”
Victoria was not so certain that was true of Lord Harford. She suspected he wished she had never crossed his threshold, but she did not say so out loud.
“I have become very fond of you all as well, ma’am,” she said. “I am quite lucky o be working in such a household with such kind and generous employers.”
“Well, you have been working so hard. You deserve a break,” Mrs Radcliffe declared. “Why do you not take a day off sometime this week? You can explore the village and have some time for yourself.”
Victoria nodded and replied, “That sounds lovely, ma’am. I would like to see the village, though I assure you I am not at all overburdened by my work.”
Mrs Radcliffe let out a delightful chuckle. “Oh, of course not. I do not think that in the slightest. You are well past deserving of a break. I will take Lily that day. Perhaps she will want to go horseback riding with her uncle.”
At the mention of Lord Harford, Victoria’s heartbeat picked up speed. She tried not to let it show, however. Instead, she gave Mrs Radcliffe a grateful smile and nodded.
“I am sure she will love that, ma’am. She was quite excited when we walked through the stables earlier.”
“Excellent,” Mrs Radcliffe grinned. “Then that is settled. Now, I think I will go and keep Lily from tormenting those poor ducks too much.”
Victoria chuckled. “Yes, ma’am.”
With a final grin to Victoria, Mrs Radcliffe made her way closer to the pond to join her daughter. Victoria watched the two play and chase the ducks together, a warmth filling her at the sight. It made her miss her own mother at the same time, and her heart ached.
She could not help but wonder what her family was doing and how they were faring without her. She received regular letters and had sent part of her earnings to them in France, but letters were a poor substitute for actually being around the people she loved most.
She reminded herself, however, that she was helping them. They would be cared for because of her, and truly, she was in a good place. She had nothing to complain about.
Well…perhaps there was one thing.
Lord Harford was a continuous presence in her mind, but she would not let her strange and confusing feelings for him deter her from everything else good that was happening to her. As she watched Mrs Radcliffe and Lily, she was determined to hold onto this post no matter what. Even if it meant pretending indifference to Lord Harford, she would gladly do so.
